There’s not much that I dislike more than making an doctor’s appointment, sitting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room and then having the doctor tell you that a) there’s nothing wrong with or b.) there is something wrong with you but there is nothing that can be done for you.  So I avoid the doctor as much as I can…

Well…

I think motherhood makes you crazy.

I can remember being in college, knowing that all I had was a cold, and my mom telling me I should go see the doctor.  "Mo-oom. (rolling eyes)  There is nothing wrong with me."  When sick with "a cold" I will only take myself to the doctor when the pain is so great that I KNOW that something else is amiss.  I admitted myself once when I had such intense ear pain I couldn’t sit still (ear infection–now I know why babies make such a fuss) and I pulled into an urgent care once when I was driving because I could hardly turn my neck to see where I was going (strep throat).

But when it comes to my children, I am all to ready to see the doc as soon as possible.  To a point I guess.  In the past two weeks, I have made two appointments for Sugar to see a doctor, and then cancelled them less than 2 hours later.

Last week, Spider was lying around like a zombie with a fever and I wasn’t going to take her in until she said she had to go potty and then couldn’t.  Thinking possible UTI, I made an appointment, took her in they told me it was a virus, not the flu, and she was better the next day.  Of course, last year she had pink eye for over a week and I didn’t take her in because it started to look better, her brother comes home with a screaming earache, I take him in and am told that Spider has pink eye.  (It looked better, I tell you!)

So NOW, Sugar has the same fever/virus as Spider did last week.  Same comatose behavior, lack of appetite, BUT her eyes are red and her fever seems higher.  (Hence the made and then cancelled appointment yesterday.)  Web MD says it’s the flu, in the which case (perhaps it isn’t) there isn’t anything the doc can do anyway and I don’t need to be spreading it around.  But MAYBE it’s pink eye and somehow she’s the only one that got it?

GAH!

I think I just need my own medical degree.  Yep.  That’s what I need.  

I got home late tonight and found this note on the door:

Dear Steph,

I’m really tired, so I headed off to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow so please let me sleep.  Love you!

P.S. If you are a Robber, I’m actually just waiting inside the door with my shotgun across my lap.

..at least I am hoping so.  The following videos are not for the faint of heart.  I shouldn’t even watch them…

I have no babies to name as of yet (well besides the ones I already named).  But a lot of my friends have newborns right now and baby names are a hot topic, so I thought I would put out some thoughts for those pregnant or future pregnant women.  (And anyone else who will name a baby at some point in their lives.) 

Let’s assume you’ve found the perfect name.  Totally unique.  Easy to pronounce based on the spelling.  Right number of syllables to correspond with your baby’s last name.  This is the one!  You have got the PERFECT name for your little angel.  But before you curse bless junior for the rest of his life, I would ask, have you considered the repeatability of the name?  Is this a name you are going to be comfortable saying over and over every day for the next 18 years or more?

"Carraway!  Don’t hit your sister!  Carraway!  Get your shoes on!  Carraway!  Carraway!  Carraway!"

Is the name sweet enough that you can yell it at the top of your lungs several times a week without making it sound like a curse word?

"What the.. SHAQUAN!  SHAQUAN!  I Can’t believe the… ShaqUAN!  SHAQUAN!  GET DOWN HERE!"

Does it go well with the siblings names when spoken/shouted in rapid succession?  Or is your tongue going to get tied?

"Serendipity, Shawntika, Temperance, Declan!  Who made this mess?"  (Heaven forbid you add anyone’s middle name..).

And lastly, if you plan on having more babies, don’t pick a name that could potentially cause sibling rivalry.

"Suzy, why can’t you be more like Favorite?"  "Jimmy, take heed from Exceptional’s example."

And these are the thoughts of my mind as I got the uncooperative people in my house ready for school this morning.  Happy Naming!

*Pssst!  All these unique names were found at:http://www.babynameworld.com

We ate ghosts for dinner earlier this week:

We tried on wigs:

…and liederhosen:

The best part is that Engineer has been talking for the past couple of days about the wedding slideshow he will have at his wedding.  (My sister just got married and had a slide show of her and her husband as kids.) He said in passing earlier this week, "I’m going to have a slide show when I get married.  It’s going to have pictures of me when I was a kid.  And it’s going to have pictures of Audrey R when she was a kid too…"  When we snapped the shot of the liederhosen, he said, "this one’s going to be in my wedding slide show."

Disclaimer: If you are the super baby proofing mom who keeps her children away from scissors until their teens, please take no offense at this post– none is intended.

We are doing a preschool co-op group this year.  Five moms take turns teaching preschool and for the other four weeks get "free" education for their little one.  I haven’t decided yet if I like it, but I think it’s going well.

Yesterday was my turn to teach.  

The first activity we did involved cutting out little animals along very straight lines.  Two of the children (mine included) cut perfectly without need of any of my help.  Rocked it.  The other three… umm… struggled… as in didn’t even know how to hold the scissors.  It was very frustrating for them.  It was frustrating for me as well (I’m untrained in scissor instruction and not being paid) trying to help each of these kids individually, while praying the other helpless scissor children did not cut themselves during this time of private instruction.  It quickly became clear that these kids never had any opportunity to use scissors at home.  As I glanced at my own rockstar scissor-ess sitting amongst my chaotically unclean home, I pictured these other kids in their super clean, well kept homes and I got a little irritated.  Felt a little judgmental. Thought, how dare these moms clean their houses and never let their child cut paper with little blunt scissors.

Until I called my mom.

Hoping for validation that my way was clearly better– I may not have a tidy house, but my children have experiences– I asked, "Mom, which way were you, I can’t remember, were you the free and easy mom or were you the mom who kept the scissors away until we were in jr. high?"

Her answer: "I was the one who kept the scissors away."

My reply, "Really? But I’m not that kind of mom."

Hers? "Your children cut their own hair."  (You know how everyone says that every little girl cuts her own hair at least once?  I never did.  Now I know why.)

So of course, I felt deflated.  Because at near 30 years old I am expert with the scissors and I pretty much turned out awesome, so clearly the clean scissor free house method of parenting works…ahem… well. So much for my parenting theories.

So to all the scissor free and tidy mom’s out there, I apologize for my judgment and criticism.  I salute you for your baby proofing skills.  It does not make me excited for scissors at preschool, but at least I now know your children stand a chance of turning out as great as me.  And I hope my parenting style yields as great of results in my own children.  I think I’d be okay if my girls turned out to be hairdressers.  They do have mad scissor skills after all.

And I don’t usually use that word very often…

Between the new liquid regulations and the luggage fees, I am having a heck of a time.  It is a NO WIN situation here and it ticks me off.  I would rather have the airlines charge a slightly higher fee to travel and include at least one damn bag!

Picture this: sweet, beauty consultant on a budget is going to a destination wedding for the weekend.  Said beauty consultant has a need of many liquid products for her, ahem, beauty regimen.  Not to mention that lovely woman is going to be IN the destination wedding.  She only needs ONE bag, which she does NOT want to check and PAY a gazillion dollars for.  BUT she has need of many products.  Fortunately, all the products she can SURVIVE ON fit in a quart size bag.  Do they fit "comfortably"?  Debatable.  Do all the little potions look like something someone could create a b*mb with?  If you watch a lot of crime shows on network television: most definitely.

So where does that leave me?

Pretty irritated and crossing my fingers.  I hate being nickled and dimed!

There is something about having three kids that causes people to ask me this question.  "Are you going to have more?" they ask when they find out the ages and quantity of kids at my house.  I didn’t get it as much when I just had two, so I have concluded it is because I have three.  Or it could be that they are so close in age.  Or it could be because I don’t look older than 22–it’s a curse, I know. 

So what is it about having three people in tow that inspires this question?  In a nation where most families have one or two kids (if any), do they see people with three as being some kind of "mass producers"?  Is there some invisible line you cross when you have a third child?  Is there a sign on my forehead that says "BABY MAKER?"

I mean, the truth is, I totally do it to other people too.  When a mom is young, her kids are close in age and she has more than 2 kids, I ask.  I want to know.  I ask people with 2 kids or 1 kid too, so maybe maybe people are just naturally nosy. Maybe we (I include myself) shouldn’t be inquiring so much into other people’s reproductive plans!

A few months ago when people would ask me if we were going to have more I would tell them I didn’t know.  Or I would say, "not right now" or "maybe."  I mean, really, who knows for certain anyway?  I could say no, and then get pregnant on accident.  I could say yes and then be infertile for the rest of my life.  I’m not really in charge when it comes to the miracle of life department.

But I have finally made the crazy decision to go big or go home.  When people ask me now, I say with certainty that, yes I want another one.  I sort of wish I could answer with my previous response of vaguey vagueness, as people’s responses have been varied and surprising.  My peeps at church smile and ask me about pregnancy every time they see me eating a cracker so no worries with them.  My protestant mother has been practically begging for another child to emerge from my womb for months now, so again she’s a fan.  But other people, mostly strangers and acquaintances give me borderline negative responses.

Most people just look at me in shock.  (Which is funny, because they asked the question, they knew it could only go 1 of 2 ways).  "Really, why?"  "How could you handle ANOTHER one?"  "Wow."  I mean no one has ever gone off on a tirade about population control or told me I was unfit, but sometimes when they don’t say anything, I can see it on their faces– the disapproval and disbelief in their minds is formulating.

It made me really thankful that the nurse practitioner who took my iud out was pretty neutral on the subject.  She asked why I was getting the iud out, how many kids I already had and told me to take some prenatal vitamins and get a flu shot.  (Trust me, I was ready for the lecture/the refusal to remove my birth control).

I think I know why we ask each other though, if we are going to have more.  I think it’s because we want to seek commonality amongst each other.  Moms seek validation from other moms.  Validation for why we don’t want more, or why we do.  I naturally ask other mom’s of three kids if they will have more to see if they are like me.  It doesn’t matter to me if they don’t want more, because I totally get that, I haven’t always wanted more myself and at times (during Sugar’s tantrums) still don’t. But when another mom of three says she wants more, it makes me feel more normal.  It makes me feel less alone in wanting a big family.   So I think it’s probably okay to keep asking.  But I think we all could be a little more careful in our response.  Mom’s are fragile people too sometimes. 

P.S. Don’t take this post as an announcement, Mom.  Definitely not pregnant yet.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about forgiveness.  But what is up with these celebrities and their bad behavior?  First Serena, and then Kanye.  (Beyonce, however, is a classy lady I must say).

What gets me, is that they do these reckless nasty things and then they issue these elaborate apologies to the public.  To me they always seem sort of "not sorry" like their mom is making them apologize to the neighbor kid.  It drives me nuts, because while I think apologizing is important, these public appearances seem insincere and pointless.  And when it comes down to it, they still did a really jerky thing that people are not going to be quick to forget.  If you are constantly doing mean things and then saying sorry, and then doing mean things– you’re still mean.

Real life is kind of like that too.

You can always apologize for what you’ve done.  You can do something horrid and say you are sorry and then be forgiven.  But if that’s your life plan– do first, apologize later– you are going to lose a LOT of friends.  It is so much easier if you take the ten extra seconds to THINK about the action you are about to engage in, and consider not how it will make you look, but how it will affect the people around you.  Because while you can always say you are sorry, you can never change the thing you did. 

You can say you were an idiot, Kanye, and you can say you’re sorry.  But you can’t take back the hurt and shock and embarassment you caused Taylor Swift.  You stole her moment, and even though Beyonce tried to make up for it, you can never give it back to her.

 I planted straight 8 cucumbers but got these monstrosities instead…

Let’s Review.

I planted seeds from this package:

And this is what I got at harvest time:

I’ve heard that cross pollination between cucs and zucs is a myth, but what the heck?  They taste like a cross between a zucchini and a squash.  I mean, I will take some blame in that maybe I did something wrong, but seriously?  Did I harvest them too soon?  Pretty sure these fat boys aren’t going to thin out and become long thin cucumbers….