"Mom, I don’t want to wear the duck boots anymore because they  have holes in them…"

And they did.  Saddest day ever.  He wore the boots almost every day and they were the subject of many "conversations with strangers."  (One lady even took a picture!)  But there comes a time in every young man’s life when he must bid his boots farewell.

(Enter funeral music)

Put them on one last time, buddy…

As it turned out, no one wanted to accompany me on the procession to the trash.  Maybe it was too painful…

They’ve gotta go.  (Yes I put gross pics of me on the internet)

Don’t look down.

R.I.P

Back to business as usual…

Until, I remember the lady bug boots….  They’ve been trashed since the inception of their hand-me-down-ness.

One more funny face on a not showered mommy.

R.I.P Ladybugs (Does this make anyone else think of Quasimodo clutching Esmerelda’s dead body in the grave?)

And as I showed the pics to Charming on the camera, Spider came to the realization: "You threw away MY boots?" (Best pic ever, totally not staged, I promise).

Oh, I feel your pain, sweetheart.  But as you get older, you’ll see that tossing stuff is liberating.

I am not sure my children really get the concept of prayer.  I know they know the words to say, the format, and the behavior expected during prayer, but it’s fairly clear that they don’t really understand yet what it’s all about.  Their prayers however continue to amuse me, and they are all over the board:

Engineer (the know it all 6 year old, excuse me 6 and a half year old boy)

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day.  Thank you for our family.  Please bless Sugar to be reverent during prayer.  Please bless that Spider will stop talking right now.  Please bless us to always be right.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Sugar (the unpredictable, airy fairy 4 year old girl,)

"Heavenly Fath-eerr,  I’m thankful for our family.  I’m thankful we had fun.  Please bless us to be safe.  Bless us to have fun and do something tomorrow.  Lord of Commandments.  Love one another.   In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  (she will not finish a prayer without the italicized part)

Spider (2 1/2, blesses the food regardless of type of prayer)

"Heavenly father, thankful for this day.  Bless that daddy can go to work.  Bless safe.  Bless the food.  Thankful for the food. Chryst.  Amen."

 So there you have it.  Hopefully when they begin to have real life issues, they will understand that they can turn to Heavenly Father in prayer to give them strength and lift their burdens.  For now though, they can continue to ask to "always be right" and love one another.

(And may the food be perpetually blessed.)

I promise this is a real ad I found.  Hilarious:(and I can’t make the font up here smaller)

AMAZING BEDSHEETS - EXFOLIATE YOUR SKIN WHILE YOU SLEEP!!!

These Queen sheets are incredible! Not only are they a putrid limey green color, they are so rough that I am sure they will exfoliate your skin while you sleep, so you will awaken from your beauty sleep with smooth, baby-soft skin! (that is, if you can fall asleep!) We bought them on sale, thinking that they would be smooth and soft (yeah I know, we’re such wimps!) since they are at least 300 thread count, but nope, I think they were designed for monks to sleep in as penance. Or here’s a thought, put them on your guest bed when your mother-in-law or unemployed brother or another undesirable guest who might overstay their welcome, is coming to visit. I’m sure it will be a subtle subliminal message to them not to get too comfortable, but to go home to their own beds as soon as possible! These would also be perfect for people trying to detox… all those detox diets that recommend scrubbing your skin with a dry brush daily, to stimulate your skin to detox… who has time for that? Save a step and sleep in these sheets! What a way to multi-task! Tired of your kids climbing into bed with you in the morning and waking you up? I bet they’d stay in their own little beds if you were sleeping on THESE sheets, leaving you in peace to enjoy your exfoliating detox scrubbing slumber! And here’s the best part… you can have these sheets for free! Just come and pick them up! I’m sure they will change your life, and I’m such a nice person that I will give them to you at absolutely no charge, just for the joy and satisfaction of doing a good turn.

No, you can’t return them if you don’t like them. You pick them up, you keep them!

I promise this is a real ad I found.  Hilarious:

I think I would want to know ahead of time.  I dont think I would want to be told five minutes beforehand that I was getting shots.  In fact, that did indeed happen to me at a checkup when I was 13 or so.  Mom reassured me that there would be NO shots at the appointment.  None.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.  I got told I needed tetanus shots about halfway through the appointments.  My sweet mother threw me under the bus and quickly agreed with the doctor that this should happen at this very appointment.

And you may be able to guess what happened next.

Yep.  I passed out.

Of course now that I am the mom, I see things a little differently.  

Really its all about when do I want to hear the crying and for how long?  At the office I only hear it for a few minutes.  If I tell them in the morning, like I did with Sugar today, I get to hear the tears all da long.  Yay for me.

But which is right?  Opinions?

The Census Bureau is wasting paper like there is no tomorrow.

First, I get a letter saying the census IS COMING in three days.

Three days later I get the actual census form.

Two days later I get a letter saying I should have received the census, and if I hadn’t filled it out would I please hurry up and do so.

And that brings us to now, three weeks later when  another census form with accompanying letter saying fill the darn thing out already arrives in my mailbox.

I mean the census form is like 30 pages long.

That’s a lot of wasted paper.

So I filled it out today because I do not want any more trees to lose their lives because of my perceived procrastination.  

And you should too.

One of my favorite things about Engineer right now is his writing.  I love seeing him write in his journal and I love seeing what he comes up with on his kindergarten homework.  I think this is my favorite set of sentences so far:

I love that he wrote: "I am over you."  He was supposed to use the word over in a sentence.  It cracks me up.  I am over you as in, I was totally in love with you and your paste eating ways little Cynthia, but then you broke my heart… those days are gone, I am so totally over you.

(I’m sure that’s not what he was thinking, but still….)

I freecycle.  A little.  When I want to get rid of my worthless stuff I post something.  When I need something and I don’t want to pay for it, I put it out there.  I will occasionally claim something being offered.

But I am not a crazy go nuts freecycler.

And there are a couple of things that really ummm… crack me up about the people that are giving away their garbage.

Here are a few of the choice phrases often used by freecyclers that I find annoying amusing.

"Preference given to whoever can get here sooner."

Now this one is kind of obnoxious to me, and sort of seems unfair, and all freecycle groups are different.  My old group in Utah, said we needed to draw names to pick and couldn’t give it to the first person that responded.  Here in the Rainy Place, no such rules apply.  But I don’t like this phrase because some of us don’t have infinite, drop everything kind of time and an item might be really, really, really useful to someone who can’t get there until Tuesday.

"Come and get this stuff now, because I am tired of looking at it"

Okay, now I have only seen this once, but it just made me chuckle.  Really?  Because you’re some kind of royalty and feel like everyone should come and remove your "treasures"just because you don’t want to look at them anymore?  Get off your bum and haul it somewhere!  (I believe this offer was like a pile of rocks or cement pieces or something)

"Must Take All"

Aka: "Even if you drove thirty minutes to see my crap (that you’ve never seen, because I am too lazy to post pictures of all of it), and you decide there is only one shirt you like out of the box, these are your problem now, because I don’t want to deal with it."  This one is really funny when the box is all random things.

Now, here’s the last thing that bugs me.  And it’s not a statement it’s an attitude of impatience and lack of compassion.  I was supposed to get something from a freecycler once and I didn’t pick it immediately because when I went to get the gal’s address from my email my computer was down.  Two days later I emailed her and she was like, "Well, you weren’t fast enough so I gave it to someone else."  I can see both sides of the story– no one likes being dogged, but I would have at least emailed or called me to see if I still wanted it rather than just give it to the next person…  Anyway…

It’s the sense of entitlement these people seem to have that drives me batty.  It’s like they believe it to be their right to just have someone take away the stuff they are sick of looking at– because a.) they consider their stuff worthless or b.) they are too lazy to sell it on craigslist or c.) they are too lazy to drive it to the donation box.

I believe Freecycle was started to keep things out of landfills, not pass on your junk that you’re too tired to deal with.  And that’s what bugs me, is that not everyone is a believer in that principle.

And that’s it.

I used to weigh myself frequently.  And exercise.  And mmm.. a lot of things

Now when I weigh myself I want to vomit.  No not like bulimia.  Though maybe…

I think I need to join a gym.  

I guess I could pay for it from the food budget.  LOL.

Meh.

There is not a worse feeling than being unable to find something that you knew exactly where it was for months, because it sat in the same stupid spot, taunting you until you finally moved it somewhere more appropriate given the kind of item that it was. 

Of course now I don’t remember where that special place is located.  And the item is missing…

I feel like my insides are going to explode all over everything if I have to look in the same places I have been looking and not find it one more time.

Yep.  Pretty sure it doesn’t get worse than this.

Call it the web.  Call it the net.  Call it (as I do) the source of all knowledge because in many ways, that is what it is.

What on earth did people do before the internet?

I mean, if I have a question (how long are boiled eggs good for, for example) I immediately go to my dear lappy and google it.  Recipe for Flan?  Internet.  Need to call the school?  Internet.  Shopping for things I have never heard of, but NEED IMMEDIATELY?  Internet.  Sheet music? Internet.  Genealogy?  Internet.  Question about a sick chicken?  Internet.  Obviously the list goes on….

I’m serious though, how did our parents SURVIVE without the plethora of often useless, but sometimes useful knowledge floating around in cyberspace ready at the touch of a button for our personal enlightenment?  I mean, I  guess there was the library?  The newspaper?  The encyclopedia…. The phone book?

Seriously, we are so connected to EVERYTHING with the internet.  Stocks, School, Global.. Everything.  How did we know about this stuff before?

I guess I am mostly asking because I haven’t been able to find a few things on the internet lately.  (Shocking, I know) and now I am at a loss as to where to look.  I don’t want to drive all over the Northwest trying to find the sheet music I want.  And I don’t really know who to call about some of these other things.  And have you ever noticed that some industries keep what should be public internet knowledge, a SECRET FROM THE WEB?  There ARE no SECRETS HERE!  

Anyway.

Love the internet.  Source of all knowledge.

Usually.