A chicken died today and I stole my neighbors mail
She looked dead. I mean she looked really dead. Just lying by the feeder, legs sprawled awkwardly and her feathers all puffed up. Her comb was colorless and her eyes were closed. "Great," I thought. "My first dead chicken." As I threw the scraps to the other hens, she perked up and opened her eyes. Resurrected! But no, she did not get up. When I tried to move her, her attempted walking was pitiful at best. All lopsided and off balance.
I don’t deal well with dead animals. Half dead animals are even worse because you can’t just bury them. You either have to end it, or try to bring them back to life…
I called Charming who said he would deal with it when he got home. Bury her. Or end her suffering. Probably both.
Then I went to get the mail. Went to have a chat with Celia, the mail lady as she delivered letters and ads to our row of mailboxes. It’s election day today. Well, I guess it’s Special Election Day today. Our school district is pretty desperate to get some levies passed so we can have "extra" things like, I dunno, teachers and buses and stuff. I sent my ballot in a while ago, so I wasn’t really thinking about it until Celia brought my attention to it.
"I hate to do this," she said as she put some letters in the box.
I looked.
It was 2 unstamped ballots that she was being forced to return. Unstamped ballots that must be postmarked today in order for them to count. My first thought was to run inside and grab stamps, but not wanting to waste Celia’s time, I chose another option.
I waited for her to leave and then I stole my neighbor’s mail.
I did. I put stamps on them and hand delivered them to the post office myself. I mean, the votes could have been "no" on the levies, that is very possible. But I figure anyone willing to vote in a special election is either voting yes or has a very strong opinion about it and their ballot should be counted. And if it chanced to be a yes vote we need it to be counted! Had my neighbors gotten home at 4:30 or 5 it would have been too late. Maybe they wouldn’t even check their mail… I had to do it. I really had no choice you see.
What would you have done?
And what would you have done with the sick dying 80% dead chicken?
I put on rubber gloves and put her on the grass to feel her last bit of life on the free range lawn. I waited until Charming got home, sent him out to investigate, he chopped off her head and buried her. (According to him, he also held a small memorial service). Engineer took the news like a man, and the girls bawled. I still don’t know how I feel about it. I don’t love those chickens all that much, but our little flock just got smaller and the other chickens don’t seem to care. I fed her, I held her when she was a fluff ball, I ate her eggs…
And she is gone. My once fluffy chick is gone. And I feel like a criminal for not trying to make her well again, for taking the easy way out… or maybe that feeling comes from the federal offense I committed today.




