The church Trunk or Treat (kids trick or treat through a parking lot full of cars and goodies) was last night.  Here’s what I went as:
Engineer (thinking he was funny) looks up at me and says, "can I have a tissue, Mom?"  Okay, I laughed.

… my new kitty Rosie and my new digital camera!

*Warning: If you are a man (married or single) this post may make you uncomfortable.  Do not proceed.* 

So, like I said, weddings are good for marriage.

And bridal showers make you want to buy lingerie.

Buying all this cute lingerie for B made me think, "I have never bought my own "sexy" lingerie.   I have two things that I got from my own bridal shower, but nothing I have ever picked out myself."  So I decided maybe it was time to get me some.

Ross is possibly not the best place to go.  Of course, I went to buy clothes– shirts, pants etc– and remembered about the lingerie while I was there. But the slinky nighties at Ross are somewhat less than desirable (IE less fabric than desired by a less-than-trim new mom) and there is quite a bit of mismatchedness.  Yet, I was still able to come up with a few decent pieces to take to the dressing room.  And to the dressing room I went.

And what are the odds that the first time a 26 year old woman goes to try on negligees for her own personal use, that the attendant at the dressing room is a guy?  Seriously. Unfair.

So first I see the sign that says "8 item limit" making me squirmishly aware that I am not going to slip past this guy with my nighties.  So I say to him, "So, I know I have got more than 8, but I don t know how many.  Soooo…"

"Well I still have to count them," says Clueless Man.

"O– kaaay." Don t make eye contact.  Stare at the ground as he pulls embarassing items from your cart.

What is the socially acceptable thing to do when he specifically gives you the lingerie to hold (as he counts the other items) and then hands you the pink panties to put back in your cart?

Mortified.

And I had to keep coming back to my cart to get more stuff to try on.  What. are. the. odds?  That is (probably) the last time I am buying lingerie from Ross. 

Of course when I tell Charming this story he informs me that whenever he buys condoms at the drug store that the cashier is usually female.  Not helpful.  And not the same.

Okay, so we just got back from our Florida vacation.  Charming’s sweet little sister B (see image), got married while we were there.  And there is just something about seeing other people get hitched that strenghtens your own marriage.  Maybe it’s just remembering why you got married, or reminding you about the day you tied the knot.  I don’t know.  All I know is that we had a lovely time, and I felt more in love with the hub than ever.

Of course it could have been that I wasn’t overburdened with chores and children too, since I could so easily pass the baby off to an aunt, uncle or grandparent and Sugar and Engineer had so many fun cousins to entertain them with.

I don’t know.

But I will say this, we had a great time.  And after disposing of all the newspapers on our doorsteps, returning all the calls, and sorting through the mail, I still need to unpack.  But after that, I am ready for a vacation. 

So my mom was here this weekend.  Love it when she comes to visit.  She’s helpful, she’s fun… and she pays.

So while she was here my mom decided to take us out to lunch at a local fast food restaurant.  I won’t name names, but let’s just say da da da da daaahhh I’m lovin’ it.  Lovin’ that she’s buyin’!  Okay, enough with that.

So…my mom grew up on a farm with lots of dirt and lots of critters.  I think she liked it, but in spite of being around all kinds of little animals, she is very rodent-phobic.  Hates them.  I always wanted to get a little hamster or something as a kid, but was hands down, no way.  Okay, moving on.

So, we ate in the playplace section of the unamed restaurant, and Mom caught one on the mouse-dar.  Underneath the play structure she claimed to see a mouse.  Knowing her phobia, I just thought she was seeing thihngs– something moved and she assumed it was a mouse, crazy lady, yada yada. 

But then I saw it too.

Little tail swishing around, running amok with it’s little diseasy, mousy self.

Gross.

I guess that’s why they call it Mickey D’s.

P.S.  I will be in Florida for a week starting tomorrow.  I probably won’t post for awhile– the inlaws have dial-up, and I don’t think I can go back. 

Saw this ad today:

"KITTENS to a loving home, cute, friendly, litter trained.  $15.00 each, six to choose from.  4 girls and 3 boys. 555-1234"

This ad was either a.) written  by someone with absolutely NO math skills, b.) misprinted or c.) advertising a magical kitten that can choose its own gender.

What do you think? 

So now that I have the high speed, I no longer have a need for dial-up.  I called my dial-up company today to tell them this.  Now, before I go on, there is something that all sales people/customer service reps need to know: there is a time to upsell and there is a time to just do exactly what the customer wants and get on with it.

The woman I spoke with had no concept of this.

I told her I wanted to cancel my account because we had already gotten high speed.  She then told me that since I had been a customer for five years that I could KEEP my account for half the price.  Gee, let me think… I have something better to replace this old, not working system with, maybe I’ll keep it because it costs less money now, even though I am totally thrilled with my new service… I don’t think so.  It’s like breaking up with a long term boyfriend because things aren’t working out and you’ve found someone new and better, and the boyfriend says, "well, if you want me, you can still date me too."  If I still wanted you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Yeah, duh.

So then I tell her "No, I really don’t want it.  It’s so slow it wouldn’t even be worth it."  She then tells me that even though I already have high speed (oh, she did hear me) they can offer high speed up to 5x faster.  No, no, that’s okay, I say.

"Well, you can still use your e-mail address."

"NO, that’s okay.  I don’t use it anyway."

She then says in an apparently-you-don’t-want-to-do-business-with-us-anymore-I’m-finally-catching-on tone of voice, "Oh, I see." 

Do you?  Do you really?

And then, thank goodness, she cancelled my account.

Okay, so Sugar got this Little People Dollhouse for her birthday.  It’s really cute, and it comes with a mom, a dad, a baby and a kitty. 

But I have to take issue with one thing: the Dad.

Mommy Little Person has a bottle in one hand and a burp rag over her shoulder- the responsible, nurturing parent.  Daddy Little Person has sunglasses in one hand and a newspaper in the other.  Because he drives the car and likes to relax when he gets home from a long day at work?  What is this the 1950’s or something?

I mean, it’s fine if he reads the paper, but why the sunglasses?  Wouldn’t it be better if he just had nothing in his hands?  Open arms to say, "I’m here for you, honey, what would you like me to do?"  Or maybe he should be the one with the burp rag and the bottle.  Or even better, he could have diapers and wipes in his hands, or a frying pan and a spoon because he is going to cook for his tired wife.  Money!!!  Keys and a wallet because he’s going for take-out or he’s going to take them out to dinner. Anything that suggests involved parent or caring spouse.  Seriously.

And I am curious about one thing– do kids really associate newspapers and sunglasses with their dads? 

Spider slept 7 hours last night.  Oh blessed rest!  And yet, with this blessing comes a cruel twist for breastfeeding mothers: double D’s and PAIN.  Lots of it.  For much of the day.

And now, some advice.

If you are a mother of any child under the age of three, do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy them a Nerf-type football.  It may sound like a good idea, because kids love balls and Nerf is soft, but DON"T do it.  The reason is this: apparently small children think these types of toys are edible.  My oldest two have both taken big bites out of Nerf-type footballs.

This morning I found such a ball in the pocket of Charming’s jacket.  It was from the Navy booth at the Fair.  I casually tossed it on the ground and went upstairs.  When I came back down a substantial chunk was missing.

Me: Sugar, did you take a bite out of the football?

Sugar: Yes.

Not good toys, folks.  Not good at all.