So now that I have the high speed, I no longer have a need for dial-up.  I called my dial-up company today to tell them this.  Now, before I go on, there is something that all sales people/customer service reps need to know: there is a time to upsell and there is a time to just do exactly what the customer wants and get on with it.

The woman I spoke with had no concept of this.

I told her I wanted to cancel my account because we had already gotten high speed.  She then told me that since I had been a customer for five years that I could KEEP my account for half the price.  Gee, let me think… I have something better to replace this old, not working system with, maybe I’ll keep it because it costs less money now, even though I am totally thrilled with my new service… I don’t think so.  It’s like breaking up with a long term boyfriend because things aren’t working out and you’ve found someone new and better, and the boyfriend says, "well, if you want me, you can still date me too."  If I still wanted you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Yeah, duh.

So then I tell her "No, I really don’t want it.  It’s so slow it wouldn’t even be worth it."  She then tells me that even though I already have high speed (oh, she did hear me) they can offer high speed up to 5x faster.  No, no, that’s okay, I say.

"Well, you can still use your e-mail address."

"NO, that’s okay.  I don’t use it anyway."

She then says in an apparently-you-don’t-want-to-do-business-with-us-anymore-I’m-finally-catching-on tone of voice, "Oh, I see." 

Do you?  Do you really?

And then, thank goodness, she cancelled my account.