So, Black Friday shopping…
I went this year and it was good. I looked for a nursing bra, and couldn’t find a good one. But I did see some of these:
I seriously considered trying one on and/or purchasing one. There’s just one problem…
I don’t want to be fake.
I don’t know what it is, but I have always had a problem presenting myself in any way other than the way I actually am. For example, I have hazely-green eyes and when younger I sort of wished I had blue eyes. I wore glasses, so I could have potentially gotten colored contacts when it came to that time, but I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want my face to be a lie.
Whenever I color my hair (I rarely do) a color other than the blonde I grew up with I feel like a faker (and I usually cry, oh what have I done to me?)
Is this weird? I guess I just want to portray the truth. I never wanted a boyfriend to "find out later" that I didn’t really have blue eyes. It’s like when you buy a bra in a size bigger than you normally buy doesn’t change the actual size of your bosoms. (Not that this is a problem at this stage in my life).
But I just can’t do it. People tell me all the time, "you look good" or "you don’t look like you just had a baby." Of course I look like I just had a baby, because I did just have a baby. My usual response to these comments is, "well, but you haven’t seen me in the buff." Wouldn’t it be so much easier to say, "well I am wearing a corset."
Because as much as I don’t want to be fake, it doesn’t change the fact that I would like to look a certain way in my jeans. So maybe, I will be going back to try on one of those bodyslimmers.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it were just that easy. I think even if we were to put on one of these garments, we would still know the truth and still have body image issues. I think when people say you don’t look like you just had a baby is that you look good for just having a baby, of course you look like yourself after you just had a baby, I wish I looked that good before I had babies. You look better than me before I ever had kids, even after you just had a baby.
Comment by Erin — December 4, 2006 @ 9:14 pm
My reason for not faking it isn’t so nobel. For me it is because it takes to much time, effort and energy. I am already married who cares.
Comment by sabo — December 5, 2006 @ 5:05 am
Having a baby, though wonderful, can be emotionally draining sometimes–with all the hormonal changes and demands on you. If you can wear a corset and feel better, slimmer, more comfortable with yourself, whatever, then go for it. If faking your appearance were wrong, then control-top pantyhose, shoulder pads, high heels and make up would be off limits. But personally, corsets just seem too uncomfortable to wear
Comment by Michelle — December 5, 2006 @ 11:07 pm