It is hot in my house.

Too hot to sleep.

I am downstairs on the compy doing a little blogging.

Be warned, I am feeling a little philosophical, and it’s 11:45 pm.  And I don’t know what I am going to write about. 

We are going to move back to the rainy place sometime.  I don’t know when, but it is coming.  It both excites and terrifies me.  It makes me happy and sad.  I love my beautiful home and I have a lot of friends here.  We’ve lived here longer that any other place during our married life, Charming and I.  It will be hard to go.  And yet, it was a place I never really wanted to come to.

Funny, how life does that to you.  Funny how Heavenly Father can turn something "horrible" in your eyes into the best thing that has ever happened to you.

I have worked really hard this month on some goals in my Mary Kay business.  I had a tough first few weeks this month, a lot of no shows.  But it’s amazing to me how as I am right at the end that I am being blessed for the effort I made earlier.  Some of my goals I am about to reach and will complete on time.  Some are about to happen but will be past the deadline and some are not happening at all.  I am pleased with what I have accomplished.  But I must admit I am struggling with a little jealousy over the fact that someone else has accomplished something that I said I would do, something I wanted to do first, and something I wanted badly, and something I know I will have next month, but not right now when I said I would do it.

And then I read an email regarding a friend who really wanted her pregnancy and now it’s ending.

Sort of puts it all back in perspective, doesn’t it? 

Haven’t posted like this in awhile, but I figure it was about time. 

So, I got tagged by JD who wants to know the top seven songs I am listening to right now.  Well, sadly, I am not really listening to much of anything.  When I am in the car is about the only time I listen to the radio, and I usually listen to classical, because I don’t want to sort through the garbage.  So what am I listening to?  Here’s the list:

1. Mary Kay training cds

2. Vivaldi- Four Seasons

3. The Children’s Songbook

4. Kids stories on cd

5. The Bulgarian Women’s Choir

Sorry, I can’t really think of seven! 

She doesn’t look like this everyday, but pretty much she dresses herself everyday, so there is usually some variation of what you see here.  Last week, from Thursday to Sunday, she wore the blue bow and the glasses AT ALL TIMES.  Even to bed.

Isn’t she cute?  I like to call her Little Elton. 

I am always so amazed at things that grow.  I look at my sweet little baby, at how big she’s gotten and to think that a year and a half ago she was just a few little cels, just blows my mind.  life is amazing!  How can she be so big already?

Also, lanting seeds and seeing them sprout into green little plants that eventually produce flowers or vegetables, amazes me.  How does it work?  I am surprised and pleased every time I get something to sprout.  I am in awe all the time thinking about things that grow.

Pregnancy is amazing to me as well.  (No, I’m not, thanks for asking).  Just when you think your body can’t change anymore, it grows in some unexpected (and not always welcome) way.  It didn’t make me taller, for example, but it did make me wider and a little more ample in parts.  I could lose some weight to try and change my shape, but my ribcage and my hips will never be the same again.   Why?  Because even though I didn’t think it possible, I grew.

I was pretty sure I was done growing a long time ago.  My height stagnated when I was about 13 and today I stand at a proud 5′1", though I have been accused by some as having midget legs.  But my sweet son today gave me a compliment that I will likely never hear again, he said to me:

"Mommy, you’re so TALL."

Sweet child.   I guess to him I am.  The unfortunate part?  Its very possible that he himself will only ever hear similar compliments from his own children.

Who knows though?  He still has a lot of growing left in him.  And that amazes me. 

Some photos for your enjoyment:

Praise Heaven that I’ve been hit with the spring cleaning itch, since these were growing in my pantry: 

This is just so Sugar, won’t take a nap but falls asleep in front of the tube.  On top of paper, with stickers all up her leg. 

And a close up of that leg: 

And here is what happens when you think you have a bathtub that takes a long time to fill, and you find yourself blogging and telling your two-year old to turn off the water herself, and when she doesn’t, you blog some more and then get up to take a look.

She’s loving it! 

Have a great day!  Learn from my mistakes! 

Do ya?  Well, I do.

Here’s what I don’t have beef with: I don’t have a problem with my husband being the breadwinner.  I don’t care that he goes to work, makes all the moolah and I stay home with my kids.  I chose it, I love it, I spend his money.  Works for me.  What I DO have a problem with is any kind of notion that suggests women are inferior to their spouses.

We live in a state that is deeply rooted in its traditons.  

In our phone book (and our CHURCH directory, actually as well) the last name of a family is listed first followed by the husbands name, followed by the wife’s name IN PARENTHESES.  If you are an unmarried female, you just get your name (no parentheses).  The listings look like this:

Shmoe, Joe (Joe’s wife)….. 555-1234

Does that bother anyone else?  It doesn’t really bother most of the ladies in my neighborhood, who grew up here, but it irks me.  I always thought the two parties in a marriage were supposed to be EQUAL partners.  Different roles, maybe, but EQUAL in their partnership.  These listings do not indicate such. By putting the wifes name in parentheses I feel like what they are really saying is this:

Shmoe, ***JOE!!!! ****(oh, yeah and Joe has a little tiny wife hanging around here too)…. 555-callJOE

So here is where my beef is.  I submitted our phone number as a new listing to our local phonebook company that does the makes-you-feel-bad formatting.  On the form, you put name, and then spouses name.  I put my name first and then put my spouses name (and since I am on the phone bill, why not?), hoping they would list the hubby’s name in the little parentheses.  Charming was okay with this, by the way, as he is bugged by the format too.  Ideally, of course they should list us as a couple using an ampersand (&) but if they want to do it their lame way, I thought why not play the game?

Got the phone book today.

Shmoe, CHARMING (stephanie)….. 555-nicetrysteph

Ticked.  Really annoyed.  Bugged-a-roolah.  Who do these people think they are?  Oh well, I guess they were just trying to put me in my (place). 

I am struggling today.

I really don’t know why, other than the fact that I am missing the rainy place again. I have a lot of friends here, and I love my house.  But I miss my home and I miss my family.

Sitting here at my kitchen table, surfing the web while I nurse the baby with Sugar sitting outside delighting in covering our porch and her pants with mud, I feel like I should be happy.  As the sun streams into our house and our kitty basks in it, I know this should be a perfect moment. 

And yet, it isn’t.

Sugar decides to come in, covered in dirt, so I am forced to detach Spider from the bosom and help her in.  I am very much tempted to flash my exposed self straight into the backyard and at any neighbors that might be looking or walking through our backyard.  Would they ever say anything to me if I did? Probably not, but I better not risk it.

I don’t necessarily need advice, I just need… something. I would love to have your prayers.

 What is wrong with me?  I can’t tell if these pains of missing home and family are just coming from my own lack of optimism shortcomings or if they are coming from God, who is trying to tell me that I need to move again.  Or am I just being tried and tested?

You know Easter has gone to the Pagans when… …you find yourself dyeing eggs with a Superman Egg Kit. Us Mormons here in Utah love to keep the sabbath, which means that most traditionally"held on Sunday"activities (besides 3 hours of church) are held on Saturday instead. If the 4th of July falls on on a Sunday then you can bet the fireworks are going to be either on the 3rd or the 5th. Halloween? Tricking on the 30th. So with Easter being on Sunday, in most places you could still get a decent egg dyeing kit on Friday night. Not so in Utah, folks. All we got left was Superman. Something unique to this particular egg kit was a set of four wires. What could they be for? we wondered. The kit also came with these: Charming made the discovery that the wires were indeed intended for this: Yes, we had fun with it all. Charming did a Clark Kent egg, and that is my Kate Bosworth-esque Lois Lane up there. And having a Super Easter means you also get this:

Well, Spider had a seizure yesterday. She’s fine, but she had had a temperature which then spiked and caused a seizure.

Engineer had one about 3 years ago, so I recognized it and wasn’t panicky. I think the 911 lady was confused when I called her because I was so calm. “Is she still having one right now?” she asked me. “Yeah. But the reason I am so calm is that my son had one a few years ago.”

“Oh so you know what to do then?”

“Uh, remind me…”

Anyway, it all turned out okay. Spider is behaving more normally than she did yesterday. Her seizure wasn’t as bad as Engineer’s was so it was not as scary and even though the paramedics came, we did not go to the emergency room.

Better today than yesterday.