Do ya? Well, I do.
Here’s what I don’t have beef with: I don’t have a problem with my husband being the breadwinner. I don’t care that he goes to work, makes all the moolah and I stay home with my kids. I chose it, I love it, I spend his money. Works for me. What I DO have a problem with is any kind of notion that suggests women are inferior to their spouses.
We live in a state that is deeply rooted in its traditons.
In our phone book (and our CHURCH directory, actually as well) the last name of a family is listed first followed by the husbands name, followed by the wife’s name IN PARENTHESES. If you are an unmarried female, you just get your name (no parentheses). The listings look like this:
Shmoe, Joe (Joe’s wife)….. 555-1234
Does that bother anyone else? It doesn’t really bother most of the ladies in my neighborhood, who grew up here, but it irks me. I always thought the two parties in a marriage were supposed to be EQUAL partners. Different roles, maybe, but EQUAL in their partnership. These listings do not indicate such. By putting the wifes name in parentheses I feel like what they are really saying is this:
Shmoe, ***JOE!!!! ****(oh, yeah and Joe has a little tiny wife hanging around here too)…. 555-callJOE
So here is where my beef is. I submitted our phone number as a new listing to our local phonebook company that does the makes-you-feel-bad formatting. On the form, you put name, and then spouses name. I put my name first and then put my spouses name (and since I am on the phone bill, why not?), hoping they would list the hubby’s name in the little parentheses. Charming was okay with this, by the way, as he is bugged by the format too. Ideally, of course they should list us as a couple using an ampersand (&) but if they want to do it their lame way, I thought why not play the game?
Got the phone book today.
Shmoe, CHARMING (stephanie)….. 555-nicetrysteph
Ticked. Really annoyed. Bugged-a-roolah. Who do these people think they are? Oh well, I guess they were just trying to put me in my (place).
Man that ticks me off as well! I can’t believe they do that!
Comment by Charming — April 18, 2007 @ 5:44 pm
That would tick me off, too. I do surveys for a company and they recently changed formats. The first email I get is: “With your permission, please have the 34 yo female come to the computer”. Evidently they don’t know that this is my domain and my hubby is lucky to touch it, lol. They must have gotten the vibes I sent out, because the other day I got an email asking permission for the 34 yo male to come to the computer. I forwarded it to dh, telling him he had my permission, lol.
Comment by Jamie — April 19, 2007 @ 11:51 am
Yeah, that would bug in a big way. I never noticed that. Weird.
Comment by daring one — April 23, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
(laughing) Isn’t that just so true? I learned the hard way (father yelling after I addressed an invitation, woman’s name first) - I was only 12, but it stuck!
Live in a state with deeply rooted traditions? Utah? Lived there, done that!
Comment by sara — May 7, 2007 @ 4:37 am