Tell me about your telephone etiquette…
Is there a rule about calling people and not leaving messages? Is it really that annoying for someone to call you and not leave a message, even if you don’t know who it is? If you were curious about who kept calling you and not leaving messages, and you had their number on caller id, what would you say when you called them up to find out why they kept calling you?
Would you be rude and let the first thing out of your mouth be a whiny "who is this?" when they answered with their polite hello?
Okay, here’s the deal, you guys. I am a Mary Kay lady. I am not a stalker, and I am not pushy. But I am a sales person working off of referrals, and such. I don’t leave messages because typically, when I leave a message, I do not get a call back. Ironically enough, I get called back when I don’t leave messages.
And people are typically kind of rude.
So a couple of months ago I did an expo where people spun a wheel, won a gift certificate to be redeemed at a complimentary facial and entered their names into a big basket, to be called in a couple of days. When I got my names back from this expo I immediately called them all and left messages for those that were not at home. Not a single return phone call, mind you.
So, I am in some serious qualifications right now and need to call anyone I can, (especially ones I "paid" for with my expo fee) so I have been calling a lot of these people every day to try and get a hold of them (even if they are not interested, I need to know). And some have called me back. Some have been rude.
I had actually left a message for the lady that called me today, and I thought she was being courteous and returning my call, so I answered the phone when I saw her name on the caller id.
"Who is this?" she asked.
Woah, you called me, friend. You are already mistreating me and you don’t even know me.
"This is Stephanie," I said.
"Well, someone keeps calling my number."
Well, if you would have called me back the first time I called…
"And you are?"
I mean, c’mon. When you meet someone for the first time, don’t you typically introduce yourself first and then ask their name? Do you just go up to people and say "Who are you?"
Anyway, I told her I was with Mary Kay and calling from the expo about the gift certificate and then she says she just bought stuff on the internet and would be good for awhile. I said okay, hung up the phone and promptly ripped the little piece of paper with her name on it and chucked it in the trash.
One less person to waste my time calling to never get a hold of. And she is not the first person to call and do this. Another lady called and my husband answered. She said "who is this?" and he not being as polite as myself was like "Who is this?"
So really, what would you say if someone kept showing up on your caller id and you felt the urge to return the call and quench your curiosity? I make these calls sometime and I usually just start by stating the fact that someone from this number kept calling me and I was curious as to who it was. I might even start by introducing myself. Because it’s not like they know who I am when I am the one calling. Especially if they’ve been trying to get a hold of twenty other people as well. I can’t be a stalker if Im calling more than one person can I?
So the lesson here friends? Don’t be a chicken . Call the Mary Kay lady back the first time, when she leaves a message. She would rather hear a no and not have to deal with you than she would getting an obnoxious call from you after she spent two months trying to get in touch.
And really, what would you say? And how would you react if you got the "who is this?" phone call. Tell me about your phone etiquette. I need to know.



I tried to be a Mary Kay lady once…but seriously….the phone calling freaked me out. Couldn’t do it. I quit shortly there after. But I’m never rude to people who call me. I just don’t think there is any excuse for rudeness.
Comment by Beth — May 4, 2007 @ 3:36 am
If I can tell from caller ID that it’s not a “charity” that keeps calling, I’ll call back and say “Hi, my name is Jamie and someone from this number seems to be trying to reach us”. If you only call once or twice, unless there’s a message, I won’t call because I hate calling people. If someone calls me and asks who I am, I’ll do what your husband does. The second you get snippy with me, you will see the icicles coming from my words, even over the phone.
Comment by Jamie — May 4, 2007 @ 11:56 am
I have gotten one of those “who is this?” calls once and as it turned out, the person calling me to demand to know who I was, was dialing the wrong number. And boy was he ever snippy until he found out that HE made the mistake. I am with you on the phone etitquette, WHAT prompts people to act so rude?
What I hate, and I have gotten several of these, are the calls where the person tells you they have some exciting news, that you have won some fabulous prize and all you have to do to claim it is call so-and-so at such-and-such number. When I politely mention that I am not interested in this (as it is obviously some sort of scam or telemarketing ploy), they person becomes very demanding that I write down the number, no really, WRITE IT DOWN!!! DO IT!!!! Until I eventually hang up. Why someone would call me and then boss me around and expect me to take it is beyond me. That kind of stuff drives me nuts!
Comment by Jessica — May 4, 2007 @ 7:42 pm
i’m the same as you — if i see someone’s been calling me (and not leaving a message), i usually just wait till i hear from them to talk to them. if i were to call, i’d introduce myself and mention that someone from that number seemed to be trying to get a hold of me.
i HATE it when people call ME and say ‘who is this?’ — grr. you called ME, you could at least introduce yourself before you start asking me questions!
Comment by emily — May 4, 2007 @ 8:15 pm
I’m new here… I’ve seen you posting in other places and thought it was time I come and say “hi”.
I don’t understand the rudenss. I mean, how is that an appropriate way to find out who’s been calling? I had a friend who would always call people back and say, “Hi, this is Holly. Did someone from this number try to call me?” I thought it was really classy.
Comment by Brillig — May 5, 2007 @ 2:18 am