Okay, now don’t ask me why I was doing this, (because I am happy in my current faith) but I did an internet search today on churches in my new town.  I scrolled through the list, there were just a handful, and the fifth listing was… duh, duh, duh… Safeway.

You may know this already, but Safeway is not a church.  Safeway is a grocery store.  Safeway does not sell Jesus.  Safeway sells bagels.  Safeway does not stir people’s hearts.  Safeway stirs up cheap chow mein that they serve in the deli.  Safeway doesn’t ask for a tenth of your income.  Safeway has ten for ten sales.  (Oh wait, that’s Albertsons.)

Well, maybe Safeway is a little like church. Let’s see… By the time we are done at Safeway, my kids have lost their minds and are crawling all over the place.  By the time we are done with sacrament meeting, my kids have lost their minds and are crawling all over the place, so there’s a similarity right there.  Hmmm… a lot of people do congregate there on the Sabbath.  I pore over their weekly ads like I would my scriptures, because I am really concerned that I save, and we all know that church is all about saving. 

So yeah, I can see how the internet might get a little confused.

Not. 

Seriously.  The Church of Safeway?   Well maybe.  Churches are generally SAFE and do lead you on the WAY to truth and righteousness.  But personally, if any of these "churches" are going to get my money, it is going to be the Church of Tarjay.  (I know I am sooo posh).