An open letter to the lady that cut my hair tonight.

Dear Haircut Lady,

Thank you for cutting my hair.  I realize I was taking much of your time, and keeping you from hanging out with your gentlemen friend.  Thank you for not TOTALLY ruining my hair.  

Thank you for NOT listening to what I wanted and then NOT doing what I wanted.  Thank you for NOT taking the time to get to know me or my hairstyle needs.  Thank you for talking to your friend the entire time instead of talking to me.  I really was NOT interested in hearing you tell him that you were planning on spending the weekend at the bar, and that you have a three year old out of wedlock child.  I was also incredibly NOTinterested to hear him tell you about all the good bars, and how he didn’t want to go home to his new baby and not-wife-mother-of-his-child.

Thank you for reassuring me that you did my bangs the right way when I could see that they were not how I really wanted them. That helped me trust you.

NOT. 

Thank you for cutting my hair so quickly.  But just as a reminder, you don’t work at Great Clips because of your ability to do a good job in a short amount of time.  Thank you for NOT being very thorough in re-checking the cut.

Thank you for letting me know that if I got home and didn’t like it, that I could come back again for FREE.  I should friggin hope so.  

Thank you for letting me know that you would be at work again on Sunday, so that I knew what day to NOT come in again.

I will NOT be letting you EVER come near my head with a scissors again.

And I really do NOT want to go in tomorrow, but really, something must be done about this do.

Your Un-Client,

Stephanie