Okay, it must be really late, because I am laughing-so-hard-I-am-crying about the title of this post.

So anyways.  Articles in magazines, and crazy doctors keep saying that human beings flatulate some ridiculously large number of times a day.  Supposedly we all cut the cheese like 12-50 times in 24 hours.  Charming and I are CONVINCED that it cannot possibly be that much.  But I still want to know.  I still want to be sure it really isn’t that much.

The problem is everytime I think, "today is the day I am going to keep track," I don’t.  Why, you might ask, do I not follow through on my commitment to take note of every time I pass wind? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because it is stupid.

I have better things to do with my time and energy than keeping records of my flatulation habits.  My brain desires to be focused on matters more important than fartology.  Taking note how many times a day I rip one, does not even make my short list of things to do on any given day.  And honestly, after the first toot I just forget to keep counting.

And I think everyone else does too, unless they are having a really gassy day.  My theory is that some idiot, decided on a post-burrito day of his own that he would keep track of the gas he passed.  And then with medical degree in hand he announced the statistics (based on his research) of how many times a day the average joe does a butt cheek squeak.

 

I mean, it can’t possibly be 14 times a day can it?

Can it?