When I was in college, I worked my tail off to get into the music education program.  Once I got in, I didn’t love it, it was kind of hard and within 2 weeks I quit.  I have a B.A. in general music and though I am glad I have a degree, I am kind of embarassed about it.  It’s sort of weird telling people I have a degree and then trying to explain what it really is.  Is it in education?  No…  Is it in performance? No…
Pedagogy?  No…  It’s in general music.  What the heck is that?

I quit my first job at Dairy Queen because I didn’t like the bad language, and I wanted more $.  

I quit exercising because I got out of the habit.

I quit trying to keep my house immaculate because it just wasn’t working.

I quit my job at BYU catering because I wanted more hours and I was big and pregnant and felt they were discriminating against me.

I often quit just short of my goal because I don’t believe it can be finished at that point. 

When is it okay to quit?

I know it’s not okay to quit because things are hard or because you don’t feel like doing what you have to do.  But when is it okay?  Is it ever okay to quit?  

I have been in my business for 1 1/2 years.  Most of the time I absolutely love it.  But there are days when I don’t want to do it anymore.  Days when my dreams are bigger than my willingness to do the work.  Days when my goals and my effort don’t line up.  Days when everyone says no.  I could be at the verge of something really great and if I just push through it, I will probably overcome some of my stumbling blocks and release a giant within me.

Or I could quit and never know.

Or I could always just be on the edge of something awesome, and never be willing to go that extra mile. 

When is it okay?

When is it okay to give up when it gets tricky, or throw in the towel on your dreams?  When is it okay to decide that this isn’t working, so I am sure there is something else out there that will work, so I am going to try that instead.  When should you stop the cycle, of moving from thing to thing to see what works and instead just commit to something and make it work?

Unless you are quitting a bad habit like smoking, quitting typically = failure.  So when is it okay to quit?  Is it ever?

Any ideas? 

Every night I go to bed without a plan.  Every morning I wake up and fiddlefart around, not knowing what to do thus wasting many minutes of many hours.

Of course there are things on my SCHEDULE.  There are things that MUST BE DONE, but I otherwise don’t have a plan for my day.  Most often I am just kind of winging it and I waste A LOT of time doing stuff that is of little importance.  I fritter away the morning, and then by afternoon, I am tired and want to relax.

And what gets accomplished?

Not much.

And it occurred to me the other day that being a Mom is my JOB.  If I worked for someone else, I would get up, shower, get dressed and go to work.  I would work 8 hours with maybe an hour and half max of "break time" and then I would go home to do whatever needed to be done at home.  (Sleep included).  With this in mind, I keep thinking I need to take this attitude about my home/mothering job.  I should probably have a plan, get up and get dressed.

The problem with this idea, I have determined, is that at a J-O-B someone else is telling you what to do.  You never have to come up with what needs to be done, except within the parameters of what you have already been asked to accomplish.  At home it’s just me.  With the exception of the occasional request for soynut butter and jelly sandwhiches, no one is giving me the slightest suggestion of what should be seen to that day.  There isn’t even anyone telling me that I need to get dressed.  (My children, fortunately do have someone telling them this.)

But I am a big girl, and I should be able to shower and dress myself by 9 (at least) without anyone telling me to do so.  I know how to use and alarm clock.  I even know how to make a plan.   

Well that’s it then.  I am vowing RIGHT NOW to turn it around.  To make a concious effort to get up with a plan and not waste time.  Right after I read a few blogs…

I have been having this problem lately… 

I put off until tomorrow EVERY thing that overwhelms me.

Let’s talk taxes for example.  Usually I am the kind of person who does their taxes right away.  February comes and I have got my government check in hand.  I rock!  But this year, with my move, my rental income, my home purchase, my business, Charming’s business and so on… I have just shut down.  Too much!!!  So they have been sitting up in our office haunting me every day.  "I’ll just do it tomorrow…" I tell myself.  It will be fine.  

But it looms over me.  

My library books are another issue.  I have a kit full of books and activities and videos that I got from the library.  I can’t find the cd that goes inside the box, and so I haven’t taken it back yet.  I know it is overdue.  I keep getting emails from the library that I can’t bear to open.  I am constantly imagineing all the fines racking up and taking over my financial future.  And yet, I don’t take that stupid kit back.  It just sits in my living room.  

Tormenting me.

I think my life would be a lot less chaotic if I could get a handle on this "situation."  Any suggestions?  Really.  I need some help over here. 

The boy is so literal.

On Easter Saturday we took the kids to the big hunt at the park.  They had each age group sectioned off by colored balloons.  Spider and Sugar were in the blue baloon group, and Engineer was in the red balloon group.  We kept reminding him before the girls went that he would have to wait this round and that he was in the red group.  Well, the announcer started the engines for the little ones.

The girls made a good haul.  Lots and lots of eggs.  Then we had to race over to the next group because the turnover time was quick.  We let Engineer loose and lost sight of him in the crowd.  I finally decided that I needed to move in, he’s a sensitive type and I didn’t want him lost or upset in there.  And when I found him he was VERY happy.  Considering his miniscule haul, I was glad he was smiling.

In his bucket: 3 eggs only.  All RED. 

I didn’t figure it out until later that it was because we were pumping him so full of "red group" talk that he felt his mission was to find red eggs.  And we’re happy he found some, because red isn’t your typical Easter color.

I love this kid’s enthusiasm and his innocence.  If only I could be as overjoyed at every accomplishment I made, no matter how small.  I’m glad I have him around.

I always thought Engineer and Sugar looked like me and Spider looks like her dad. Apparently the internet knows more…

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family tree template - Family history

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family tree outline - Free family tree chart

Fluke, right? No WAY she doesn’t look more like Charming.

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family pictures - Free genealogy

I have had a  secret theory for awhile now, and I know it is going to just shock some of you…

You know how there are all these activities we are supposed to do with our babies and our kids to "strengthen" their skills?  I can’t think of all of them right now, but I am pretty sure they are all bunk.  I am nearly convinced that our kids will acquire the physical skills that they need if they are given enough time.

Blown away by my theory?

Let’s take tummy time for example.  I am a lame-o when it comes to making sure my babies get tummy time.  I would rather not hear them fussing and whining, so I leave them happily on their backs.  And guess what?  They all crawled.  Sugar even crawled at seven months.  And I am proud to say that I am currently a mother of three healthy strong necked children.

Here’s another one.  Engineer is left handed and last year in preschool he worked a lot on cutting with scissors.  He was not great at it.  Yesterday I asked him to cut something and though he was hesitant, he did a great job though he hasn’t used scissors in over a year.  (No, he was not one of the culprits involved in the great cut.) 

Eat cheerios, it’s good for the pincer grasp!  Use sign language so your baby will communicate with you!  This mobile is great for eye development!  This seat will help him sit up faster!

Really, I don’t think most of this stuff is really all that necessary for a child’s development.  I think most of it stems from our instant gratification society.  And I am not saying that all that baby advice out there is garbage– I spend a lot of time reading and singing with my children, for example.  It’s just that I am pretty sure if we all took a step back, and give our kids some time that they would learn the skills they need.

Just my theory.  Do with it as you will. 

How do you deal with criticism?

I have found that I deal with it much differently than I used to.  It used to be, that when someone confronted me, called me out on something or was critical, I automatically discredited them. I knew that they were wrong, and I was a little angry about it.  I would think things like, "he doesn’t know what he’s talking about", "he’s totally off", "that jerk".  The next reaction was usually contemplation, "maybe he’s right" and then sadness, as I realized the truth to the critic’s words. The end result was always an attempt to rectify the situation and do better.

In my current life when someone makes a criticism, or tries to correct me, I no longer assume their incorrectness.  In fact, more often than not I quickly credit them with being accurate in their assessment.  I know within minutes that they are right. This is followed by some serious sadness and contemplation linked closely with feelings of guilt and failure.  "Oh my gosh, why did I do that?, people must think I am so awful…"  Occasionally, this is followed by some anger, "she doesn’t see the whole picture, it’s not exactly how she perceives it," etc…  Again, I proceed to do to change my behavior in a positive way.

I don’t know really know which way of dealing is better.  I used to get over it much quicker, you see.  Thinking, "You’re wrong, okay you’re right, moving on" is much less time consuming than,  "You’re right, I understand, I am a horrible person, sob, sob, sobby sob, sob, okay maybe I am not horrible but I am kind of….proceeding with caution." 

I mean, really, I would like to not be criticized at all– as in I would like to not have any flaws–not that I want people to remain silent.  But really if no one loved me enough to remind me to be more, than I would always stay the same.  I wouldn’t grow, I wouldn’t learn anything and life would be kind of stagnant. 

And yet, it seems to be the same things that keep coming back to me.  So maybe I am not learning anything.  And maybe that is why I keep taking it so personally– "I’m not better at that yet? Seriously? I am a failure." 

This post seems really depressing to me, now that it is all typed up.  Is it?

Anyway… How do YOU deal with critcism? 

There are some things on this earth, that I will never understand in my lifetime.

I am pretty sure this is one of them:

Seriously, who would buy this? 

Dreams are weird.  I don’t mean dreams like hopes and dreams, I mean sleep dreams.  Subconcious dreams.  I don’t get them at all.  In the past I have discussed the super powers I have when I dream, and let me tell you they are AWESOME.  There is nothing like the feeling of gliding through a window as though it were made of water… well, more like jell-o…

Anyway.  I don’t know what my dreams are supposed to mean. Is there any meaning to them?  Should I be learning something from them?  Is there a purpose, a rhyme, a reason?  Or are they just God’s form of entertainment for us?  Like, here you go, here is a mini-series-comedy-drama-indie film starring you for your viewing pleasure.  I don’t get it at all.  I do not understand the point.

Because if dreams mean anything AT ALL, apparently I have a crush on Jim.  Yep that’s right, Jim Halpert from the Office.  Haven’t watched that show in like, forever, and then the other night there’s Jim and me.  We went out to dinner, we went for a walk, Jim fell in a stickerbush and I was unsure as to how to rescue him…  Jim and I had a delightful time.  So then as often happens in my dreams, we were being chased,and I had to use my fall back to get us out of trouble.  I whipped out the super powers!  I held Jim’s hand and started to fly, though it is always more difficult to get airborn when you are dragging someone along with you.  I don’t know why that is, I mean it is just a dream, you’d think I could just make them be lighter.  Hmmm, I will work on that… I am sure I will need to take someone along on my flights again and Jim is kind of heavy…

Anyone think I’m a nut yet?   

What does it MEAN? 

We were driving in the car the other day and as usual I was listening to one of my motivational Mary Kay cds.  The lady was talking about goals.

Engineer, who is always listening, says "I think I need to set a new rule."

Pretty sure he interpreted "goal" as "rule", I piped in, "You need to set a new goal?"

"Yes," he says.  "I think my new rule should be to be nice to my friends."

I tell him that sounds like a pretty good goal. My goal this week is to finish up my star quarter and sell A LOT of product without getting too frustrated.  What about you?  What are your goals this week?  (Besides of course, being nice to your friends.)