Apparently I am not the only one that knows I’m not perfect
How do you deal with criticism?
I have found that I deal with it much differently than I used to. It used to be, that when someone confronted me, called me out on something or was critical, I automatically discredited them. I knew that they were wrong, and I was a little angry about it. I would think things like, "he doesn’t know what he’s talking about", "he’s totally off", "that jerk". The next reaction was usually contemplation, "maybe he’s right" and then sadness, as I realized the truth to the critic’s words. The end result was always an attempt to rectify the situation and do better.
In my current life when someone makes a criticism, or tries to correct me, I no longer assume their incorrectness. In fact, more often than not I quickly credit them with being accurate in their assessment. I know within minutes that they are right. This is followed by some serious sadness and contemplation linked closely with feelings of guilt and failure. "Oh my gosh, why did I do that?, people must think I am so awful…" Occasionally, this is followed by some anger, "she doesn’t see the whole picture, it’s not exactly how she perceives it," etc… Again, I proceed to do to change my behavior in a positive way.
I don’t know really know which way of dealing is better. I used to get over it much quicker, you see. Thinking, "You’re wrong, okay you’re right, moving on" is much less time consuming than, "You’re right, I understand, I am a horrible person, sob, sob, sobby sob, sob, okay maybe I am not horrible but I am kind of….proceeding with caution."
I mean, really, I would like to not be criticized at all– as in I would like to not have any flaws–not that I want people to remain silent. But really if no one loved me enough to remind me to be more, than I would always stay the same. I wouldn’t grow, I wouldn’t learn anything and life would be kind of stagnant.
And yet, it seems to be the same things that keep coming back to me. So maybe I am not learning anything. And maybe that is why I keep taking it so personally– "I’m not better at that yet? Seriously? I am a failure."
This post seems really depressing to me, now that it is all typed up. Is it?
Anyway… How do YOU deal with critcism?



Well, it’s tough. I usually end up taking a step back and looking for the truth in what they say. Then I try and correct it. But even when I don’t think they are correct, it continues to bug me and I continue to double check myself to see if they are right. I don’t wallow in self pity about it though. But I do often end up either avoiding the person or trying to make friends with them. I hate animosity.
Comment by Mike — March 18, 2008 @ 5:30 am