Yesterday was a good pre-Halloween day.  I am going to tell you what we did, but first, this picture, because my children are artists.  They did this to their pumpkins and then they photgraphed it.  I think they did a pretty good job, don’t you?  They’re still in trouble for nicking my camera but…

So like any crazy preschool teacher, I decided we would take a field trip to see the great pumpkins yesterday.  I would be alone with the children and we would be walking along a semi-busy street.  Fortunately for me, I had only four children instead of six and a very clever idea for keeping them all together.

But first, since we are finishing a unit on spiders, we decided to eat our snack the way that spiders do– by drinking it.  Some were thrilled.  Some were not.  It turned out to be more of an ordeal than I had anticipated.

But c’mon how could I not take pictures of that?

So then we rounded them up and made the trip to see the big pumpkins.

They did not want to leave.  For me, this was not that entertaining of a place.  Just a stop on the road with some hay bales and big jack-o-lanterns (which are cool, don’t get me wrong.)  But for them it was endless fascination and delight.  After much whining about it being time to go, they finally trudged home like a chain gang.

And then preschool was over and Halloween Eve festivities ceased until I realized I had some costumes to hem.  Beautiful costumes made by my dear and talented mother.  The pattern had made them too long and so like the fairies in Sleeping Beauty, I found myself surrounded by pink and blue fabric, a dangerous pair of scissors in my hand, making a mess of things. 

Where the heck did I put that magic wand? 

Okay, so I was watching the news on Yahoo the other day and I saw this commercial for ClearBlue Easy’s new pregnancy test.  I am going to tell you right now, it did NOT want to make me want to buy it.  It’s like a car commercial, and then they show the stream of pee hitting the stick.  I mean really, who are they trying to market to here?  Men don’t get pregnant, so they are probably not going to buy them, so why are they making man oriented ads.

Unless they ARE trying to market to men, on the assumption that women send their husbands to buy pregnancy tests and that rather than going for the cheapest one, they are going to remember the name of the the one with the phrase, "the most sophisticated technology you will ever pee on." 

Sheesh.  Maybe I’m the only one, but this commercial serioulsy confuses me and grosses me out.

I met some ladies at Starbucks today to do some Mary Kay stuff.  I bought 2 strawberry and creme a ma bobs and wasted about 20 nerves on the children.  But I got to laugh on the way home as my children discussed pronunciation.

Eng: Next time we go to Star Box we are going to get a pink drink.

Sug: (who’s 4) No, Star BUCKS.

Eng: Star Books?

Sug: No Star BUCKS!

Eng: Mommy is it Star Box or Star Bugs? 

Me: It’s Star Bucks.

And then he erupted with riotous laughter.

I’ll give you one guess as to what Charming is going to be for Halloween….

Jack Black– We heart you.

I am.  It’s been written in stone.

So ever since we moved back to the rainy place, I have not once had my entire house in a state of cleanliness, I have accrued numerous late charges for past due bills, I have forgotten to help my son turn in homework more than once and have been generally disorganized and forgetful.  I should probably stop reaffirming this by blogging it and talking about it, but I think acknowledging it might help?

So I signed up a couple of weeks ago to buy six loaves of bread for a homeless shelter service project we’re doing it at church.  I figured I could commit to bread.  Casserole, baked goods?  No way, too much effort.  So bread it was.  I mentally noted it for many days.  I wrote it down.  I told the hubs.  It is on my big calendar: SIX LOAVES OF BREAD.  I got an email a couple days before, followed by a phone call (I kind of brushed the gal off, because geez.. I am SO going to remember) I even reminded myself the DAY OF that I needed to go to the store to get the bread.

Come 5:30 I get a knock at the door.  Whoever could this be? I think.  

Not-forgetful woman(in a hurry): Stephanie, did you get the loaves of bread?
Me: No.
Not-forgetful woman: Okay, I’ll just run to Safeway.  

And then she bolts.  Leaving me feeling like a heel listening to the pouring rain.

My word.  What is wrong with me?  I can’t even do service by buying bread? 

Have you ever googled your name followed by the word, "needs".  I did it recently, and guess what the number two hit was?  The last time I googled Stephanie needs and posted it on my other blog!   Ha ha ha ha ha ha….

I’ve not been blogging in a while.  I am pretty busy– if you didn’t know I have added "preschool teacher" to my hat rack.  And so I present to you the knowledge I am gleaning from this experience.

Question:

Dear Miss Stephanie,

My kid scissors keep disappearing.  How can I find them?

-Cutless in Chicago

Dear Cutless,

Put the remaing scissors up high and out of the sight of your children.  The people will soon need to cut things, and the missing scissors will mysteriously reappear.  Put these away promptly until all the lost pairs are found.

Miss Stephanie 

Question:

Dear Miss Stephanie,

I am thinking about starting a preschool, because I already have a million other things going on in my life and totally want to add one more thing.  What is your best advice on this matter?

Kind of Crazy in the Suburbs

Dear You-will-want-to-stab-yourself,

Don’t.

Miss Stephanie 

Got your attention, eh?

Seriously, though.  Yesterday was one of those kind of days that made me understand why living in a commune or something would appeal to a person.  With three kids under 6 and too much house to take care of, I get kind of lonely sometimes.  I don’t really want to drag them places because they are so much work when I do, I’d rather just stay home.  

But it get’s lonely.

It would be nice to have a few other ladies around just kind of all the time to chat with, to share household duties with even spar with just to create some drama.  It would be nice to have extra hands around. Imagine this conversation:

Me: Hey wife number two, and three, can you watch the children so I can go get a pedicure?

Wife #2: There’s a lot of children between the three of us.

Me: And there’s two of you, I am sure you can handle it.  Besides, Joan up the street has like 15 kids and her husband only has one wife, so I know between the two of you 12 kids is like nothing.

Wife #3: I get to go tomorrow, right?

Me: (knowing dinner would be ready and the house would be clean when I get back) Sure.  See ya in a few hours! 

Yeah, that’d be nice. 

P.S. No comments about how in real life polygamy stinks and all the alleged abuse and all of that.  I get that.  I am being totally facetious.