Engineer has to catch the kindergarten bus at 8:40 am every morning.  It is an effort most days to get him fed, dressed and out the door, because he takes life at a leisurely pace and I like to sleep in.

I woke up yesterday at 8:35.

Oops.

And of course, the boy was NOT dressed nor had he eaten breakfast.  And he was in no rush to do so.  We have a rule at our house that you eat breakfast and then you get dressed right after.  It would have been the other way around, but the rule was the for the whole family, and I personally like to eat my kix in my jammies so I insisted breakfast first.  Anyway, since Engineer is a RULE FOLLOWER, my asking him to get dressed while I made his breakfast was just plain insanity. 

He cried, protested and yelled at me.  

I put his waffles in a tupperware and he cried harder because he wanted to eat them at home.

Engineer and I were both frustrated, angry, irritated and emotional.  We got out the door and he was sobbing, freaking out because it’s cold and just being stubborn and I was yelling at him to get moving.  I practically drug him up to the bus stop, and left him there crying while my neigbor stood there with her son, thinking the kinds of thoughts you think when you see someone yelling at their kid.  I stomped down the hill without a hug, a kiss or a nice word for my baby.

I got home, sat down, took a minute and started feeling the guilt.

It overwhelmed me to the point that this Mary Kay lady, gathered up her two other children, drove to the school in my pajamas and no makeup to apologize to my six year old son.  Moral of the story?  I should have just let him eat at his own pace and then driven him to school since I ended going up there anyway.

Sheesh.