First off let, me start this post by giving a shout out to the lady who passed me as I was stuck in the middle of the road and honked at me multiple times: I didn’t do it on purpose to ruin your day, you are mean and you suck.

Secondly a shout out to my minivan with an instrument panel that doesn’t work in spite of all the money we’ve put into getting it fixed: get it together, baby, I need to know when there is no gas.

Okay, good.  

Sunday on the way to church the instrument panel decided to blink on thus alerting us as to our mph, other important panel things and also the fact that we had no gas.  As we were already late, and are committed to not spending money on Sunday, we got two gallons of gas and were on our way.  I planned to get more gas on Monday before I drove 45 minutes into Seattle and back.  On the way home from church, the panel went bye bye once again.

Monday came, I found myself driving into Seattle with little gas, I remembered this only after I was on the freeway, and decided that I could make it there and would need to get gas on the way home.  Reasonable plan.

Here is where the dilemma came in.  We went to the science center (clean bathrooms) and afterwards went to the Center House for ice cream (questionable bathrooms).  I needed to pee, but decided it would be better to not haul my three small children into an unclean bathroom. Nobody else needed to go anyway.

Well, you know how it goes when you have to go, but you still have 45 minutes of driving to do!  I knew I needed to get gas, but I just couldn’t handle the thought of standing in the cold pumping gas with a full bladder.  I wrestled with how I could use the gas station bathroom, but hello, not a clean place for the children.  I could leave them in the car…  but well, not as safe.  As I knew at least one would be asleep anyway…  

I drove home without stopping.  The funny thing is, I didn’t even race into pee.  I dinked around on the computer, putting stuff away until I remembered the little feeling.

Tuesday.  I know I need to get gas before i go out.  Everything is a little frazzled, I make a product delivery, leave town without gas and a third way up the big, windy, twisty hill, the van sputters and stops in front of about five other cars. I turn on my emergency flashers, the other cars figure it out and I pull out my phone to call Charming who turns out to be less than helpful..  I still think I should have called 911 or something, but he advised me not to.

Fortunately, a nice homeless-looking man (whitish beard and stocking cap) with a British accent stopped in front of me and came to see if he could help.  He tried to start the car a couple of times without success, but was then able to put the car in neutral and ease it closer to the side of the road.  Our car was then not completely blocking traffic, but closer to the blind corner where another car (going too fast) could have easily rear ended us.  (Had the honking lady not been speeding, she might have laid off the horn, for example). And then the Microsoft employee man (as it turned out he was on leave from there) left to get us some gas.

After what felt like 45 minutes (maybe more like half an hour) of being a sitting duck and listening to crying, whining children (Spider was happy) the kind man returned with the gas and the County Sheriff’s arrived to direct traffic.  Two gallons was not enough on the steep hill, so the sheriff left to get some more.  The man who helped us went home without me ever giving him proper thanks or any money for the gas, and when the sheriff came back with more gas I was on my way.

I was reminded of a few things yesterday amidst all this mess.  One– there are good people in the world who will help strangers.  Two– most people are not this way, at least 50 cars passed me, and that man was the only one who stopped.  Most people rubbernecked to see inside my vehicle and one woman honked angrily.  Three– God will always watch out for you.  It was a miracle no one hit us while sitting there, and quite a blessing that the man stopped so soon after we got stuck.

And fourthly, and perhaps most importantly, peeing your pants while pumping gas is much more desirable then running out of gas on an uphill, twisty, narrow and relatively busy road.  And yet, riding home in wet pants, just doesn’t seem that great to me, even now…

P.S. To my kind hearted rescuer, thank you.  If you ever read this, please don’t be offended that I called you homeless looking, I was kind of scared when you first approached, but my children and I will forever be indebted to your kindness and willingness to serve people you didn’t know.  Thank you for being a neighbor and good samaritan.

According to Sugar, you need to grow up.

We’re at the Target the other day, walking past the baby aisle and my four year old says to me, ‘Mom, I’d like to have another little baby at our house." 

To which I replied, "Well, what do you think has to happen to get a little baby at our house?" 

"You need to grow up."

Looking at it now, she was probably talking about herself, but it sounded a lot like, "Mom, you need to grow up.  Get real.  Just do it.  Get a hold of yourself and procreate."

And that’s all. 

UPDATE:  Engineer today told me he was going to wish really hard that Heavenly Father sends another kid to our family.

Costco Not-On-A-Saturday, is probably one of my favorite places to go.  I love the big-ness of everything and they always have new stuff– and oh yeah, the unlimited sampling booths.  MMmmmm…

That said, I have found that I must limit myself to trips to the Land of Large so as not to spend my husband’s entire paycheck there.  If I make it out of Costco with less than $200 worth of crap stuff bulk items I consider myself fortunate. It’s about twenty minutes from my house and I am not sure the money I save on gas by buying it there really amounts to much, since I use so much gas to get there.

Okay.

So at an expo a few weeks ago, I happened to stop at the Costco booth.  I had a conversation with a rep there that to this day just baffles me.  I  wouldn’t call this rep "pushy" because I never felt like she was trying to sell me anything, because in my experience good sales people actually LISTEN to what a person has to say.  Let me recount the conversation.

Me: Hello.

Rep: Are you a costco member?

Me:Yep.

Rep: Do you have our American Express  card?

Me: I do.

Rep: But I bet you don’t have the platinum business card.

Me: No.  You know, I actually don’t even go to Costco all the much.

Rep: (Shocked and Disgusted) Really?  Why? (First Mistake)

Me:You know everytime I go there, I spend like $200.  Plus it’s like 20 minutes from my house.

Rep: (moving on) But you need a credit card for your business.

Me: You know, I have one.  It’s a Mary Kay Visa.

Rep: But you can’t use it at Costco.

Me: (I have your friggin AMEX and who says I want to use it at Costco!)  Yeah, I know.

Rep: You really could be SAVING your family SO MUCH money.

Me: (Did you NOT just hear me say I SPEND too much money every time I go.)  Sure, sure.  

And then I ran away as fast as I could. 

Now maybe as you read this, you’re thinking, yeah so?  But seriously.  The woman could not have possibly heard a word I said.  It was the weirdest not-a-sales-pitch pitch I have ever heard.  Let me tell you why she is the worst sales person ever:

1.She was totally unrelatable, maybe she was just untrained, who knows.  I left feeling like, "what the?" Rather than trying to understand my point of view (because clearly she did not get it) she just dismissed it and seemed irritated. I like to feel like customer service people could potentially be my firend, even if I say no.  We couldn’t be friends.

2. She wasn’t friendly or even pleasant.  She never asked me how I was doing or even smiled at me.  I mean she might have asked me, but I don’t remember because it was probably insincere.

3. She didn’t ask enough questions.  All she did was make these weird statements that didn’t have anything to do with what I just said. 

4. She never actually tried to sell me anything.  She never went over the benefits of the card and she never asked me if I was interested.  And she never tried to overcome my objections.  I mean I guess she did, but she should have used the feel, felt, found method.  IE.  I know how you feel, I felt the same way too, but what I’ve found….

5. And of course, she did not listen to me AT ALL. 

And that’s it.  It was just weird. 

And for those of you who want to keep reading, here’s how I would have done it, had I been the rep.

Well dressed business person: Hi.

Me the Rep: Hi how are you doing today?

WDBP: Good good.

MtR:Great.  I love your shoes by the way.

WDBP: Oh, thanks.

MetR: Hey are you a Costco member?

WDBP: You know I am, I even have a Costco Amex.

MetR: I do too.  I love that card.  Have you heard of the Costco Platinum Business Card?

WDBP: No I haven’t.  I don’t really think I need one though.

MetR: Do you have a card for your small business?

WDBP: I do actually. 

MetR: Well, that’s great.  Which one do you have, by the way?

WDBP: I have a Fantastic Company Mastercard.

MeTr: Oh yeah?  That sounds awesome.  Do you get great benefits like (I would then list all of the Costco business card features)?

WDBP: No I don’t actually.

MetR: Well the Costco business card has all of those things.  Would you be interested in signing up for a Costco business card?

Well dressed business person would then say yes or no.  Either way, when the conversation ended I would say: "Okay.  Well you have a great day." 

Going to get your new driver’s license and your new vehicle registration is not something I would recommend with PMS.  Do not go at the end of the month, around lunch time, when you have PMS.  Do not go if you do not know EXACTLY where it is.  You will get lost, curse your gps and curse your anxiety.  Do not go with PMS.

Do not take children.

If you have to take children, leave Sugar at least one with someone else. 

Do not go with PMS.

We went yesterday and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

We waited at the DOL for an hour– and I almost couldn’t get my license because I didn’t have my proof of address.  (It’s a rule that I must always forget something.)  And then on the way to the DMV I got hopelessly lost, and I started to totally lose it.

At least the children were well behaved and incredibly patient.  I know Sugar would have made it a nightmare so I am glad she was with a friend.  

Four hours of my life that I will never get back.  

But at least I am registered and at least I didn’t cry like I did when I got my Utah license.  I guess that means I am happy to be here.

There is something about being so sick, being so debilitated that you can’t do anything that kind of knocks the lazy out of a person.  All of a sudden, I NEED to do EVERYTHING.  But I CANNOT do ANYTHING.

For the past few years weeks it seems like I waste A LOT of time on the internet.  I waste a lot of time doing stuff other than clean my house, play with my kids or do my business.  Lately I feel like I haven’t been able to accomplish very much.  And then BAM! I am flat on my back (head elevated enough to keep at least one nostril free of blockage) unable to do anything but surf the web. 

And it infuriates me.  "I am just wasting time!" I think to myself.  And yet, when I am well, I don’t mind wasting the time at all. 

Think the man upstairs has a lesson He’s trying to teach me?  I do not think getting sick was a coincidence.  I done been schooled.  Knock that lazy out of my house.

Fact: I have been pregnant three times in the past 6 years.

Fact: My body looks like I have been pregnant three times in the past 6 years.

Fact: I lack the commitment to do situps on a regular basis.

Fact: All the cute jeans, including the ones I just bought, sit below the waist.

Fact: Below the waist jeans tend to give one muffin top.

Fact: I personally have muffin top whenever I wear jeans (though I keep my flesh covered, thank you.) 

Fact: I do not like my muffin top. 

Fact: I do not like to do sit ups  (see third fact down from top.)

Fact: I either don’t believe in plastic surgery or don’t have the financial means to have it done.  Take your pick. 

Conclusion: I must own one of these.  My decision is final, I will buy one within the month.

I will keep you posted and let you know how it goes! 

Well, the Halloween went great.  Pictures later.  The witch came and the candy is now under my bed gone.

The haircut is fixed.  Muchly much better.  I got my money back from Awful Great Clips and got it cut at a different place. 

We are pulling our little house off the market.  But, yay, we have a renter. 

Busy day today.  More later. 

Did you know that a toddler can actually suck the color out of a washable marker?  In the mouth long enough, the tip of a red marker becomes white.  It’s true.  I witnessed it today.

I also learned today that in a relatively sterile looking environment, such as the Jiffy Lube, that small children can make incredible messes?  They WILL dump water all over the chairs and suck color out of markers.

In case you were wondering, small children will also color their entire legs with marker in the car.  One year olds intoxicated with washable ink will unravel all the toilet paper in the public restroom while you wash your hands.

I used to think it was difficult to take three children out in public.  I now know that it is not the number of small people that accompany you, but the specific individuals that you bring along that make the difference in your ease of excursion.  Two children in public can just as tricky as three if you take the right ones with you.