Heck no.  Duh.  But apparently this little Dutch girl has plans for it and her father is not opposed.  Thankfully the court has taken her into custody for two months to evaluate her psychologically.  In my opinion, even if Laura Dekker is the world’s most mature 13 year old, there is no way in Hades she should be allowed to sail alone– for TWO years.

The article compared her to another young sailor, a 17 year old BOY who sailed around the world in just 9 months.  Now this lad was also a minor, but there is a HUGE difference between 13 and 17 (about 4 years actually).  And not to be sexist, because I think girls mature faster, but boys have different "safety" issues than girls, if you know what I mean.

So anyhow, the court is going to evaluate her to see if she should be allowed to go.  I love this line from the article about the ruling: "(It supports the idea that) you are not a bad parent if you try to help your child fulfill her dream," the family lawyer noted.  To which I say, I think it’s great to support your kids in their dreams.  If I had a 13 year old daughter who was an excellent sailor who wanted to sail the world solo, I would say, "Honey that’s awesome, and I know you can do it.  Let’s make all the preparations now, so that when you are AT LEAST 18, you can fulfill that dream!"

 What do you think?  I think it’s ludicrous to even consider letting her do it.  Do you think she would be happy if her dad went with her?  Should she just wait until she’s 17 or 18?

Also, here’s a good one I head yesterday…  A mom was talking about her ooh, maybe 8 year old boy (who was taking private dance lessons at the time) and she says to another mom, "I am trying to convince him not to take so many classes…"  What the heck?  Convince him?  Since when did you stop being the adult?  Does he have his own bank account?  If you don’t want him to take so many classes, then you don’t LET him take so many classes.  Sheesh.

"Mom, I don’t want to wear the duck boots anymore because they  have holes in them…"

And they did.  Saddest day ever.  He wore the boots almost every day and they were the subject of many "conversations with strangers."  (One lady even took a picture!)  But there comes a time in every young man’s life when he must bid his boots farewell.

(Enter funeral music)

Put them on one last time, buddy…

As it turned out, no one wanted to accompany me on the procession to the trash.  Maybe it was too painful…

They’ve gotta go.  (Yes I put gross pics of me on the internet)

Don’t look down.

R.I.P

Back to business as usual…

Until, I remember the lady bug boots….  They’ve been trashed since the inception of their hand-me-down-ness.

One more funny face on a not showered mommy.

R.I.P Ladybugs (Does this make anyone else think of Quasimodo clutching Esmerelda’s dead body in the grave?)

And as I showed the pics to Charming on the camera, Spider came to the realization: "You threw away MY boots?" (Best pic ever, totally not staged, I promise).

Oh, I feel your pain, sweetheart.  But as you get older, you’ll see that tossing stuff is liberating.

I promise this is a real ad I found.  Hilarious:(and I can’t make the font up here smaller)

AMAZING BEDSHEETS - EXFOLIATE YOUR SKIN WHILE YOU SLEEP!!!

These Queen sheets are incredible! Not only are they a putrid limey green color, they are so rough that I am sure they will exfoliate your skin while you sleep, so you will awaken from your beauty sleep with smooth, baby-soft skin! (that is, if you can fall asleep!) We bought them on sale, thinking that they would be smooth and soft (yeah I know, we’re such wimps!) since they are at least 300 thread count, but nope, I think they were designed for monks to sleep in as penance. Or here’s a thought, put them on your guest bed when your mother-in-law or unemployed brother or another undesirable guest who might overstay their welcome, is coming to visit. I’m sure it will be a subtle subliminal message to them not to get too comfortable, but to go home to their own beds as soon as possible! These would also be perfect for people trying to detox… all those detox diets that recommend scrubbing your skin with a dry brush daily, to stimulate your skin to detox… who has time for that? Save a step and sleep in these sheets! What a way to multi-task! Tired of your kids climbing into bed with you in the morning and waking you up? I bet they’d stay in their own little beds if you were sleeping on THESE sheets, leaving you in peace to enjoy your exfoliating detox scrubbing slumber! And here’s the best part… you can have these sheets for free! Just come and pick them up! I’m sure they will change your life, and I’m such a nice person that I will give them to you at absolutely no charge, just for the joy and satisfaction of doing a good turn.

No, you can’t return them if you don’t like them. You pick them up, you keep them!

I promise this is a real ad I found.  Hilarious:

Okay, well not technically a rockstar, but he does make video games.

And the video game that he made all by himself (gush) is now on a big deal website.

And I am so proud of him because he’s already sold over 600 copies.  He doesn’t think it’s huge, but I am happy about it.  He is a total rockstar, and he doesn’t even know it.

It’s only $5, you should check it out.

Tonight I got caught behind a student driver.  How did I know it was a student driver?  Because in big, bold letters on the trunk of the sedan were the words: STUDENT DRIVER.  It made me wonder what the point was of imprinting those words on the back of the car.   I realized that the purpose was two-fold- one to warn you, so you can be cautious around the inexperienced driver and two so you can be a little more compassionate and understanding.

I think everyone needs a big label on the back of the car.  Labels like "Idiot Driver," "Distracted Driver", and "Eating a Big Mac Driver."  But maybe not even just the kind of driver you are, maybe, the labels should just say what’s happening IN the car: "Kids are Screaming Right Now" "Driver’s contact lens fell out," and perhaps even, "Driver’s bladder is full and still has another 45 minutes worth of commute."

I think this would surely reduce road rage.  People would be a little kinder, a little more patient even.  And definitely more cautious.  I would stay away from "Intoxicated Driver" or "Doing ten things besides driving driver."  Wouldn’t you? 

Ever get the feeling you are being watched?

75 googly eyes don’t go as far as I thought they would.

I grew up in the pacific northwest and EVERY year we bought a real-fresh-dead Christmas Tree. Charming grew up mostly in Florida where if they had real trees they cost like a million dollars or something so he always had a fake tree. The first Christmas that Charming and I were married, we were poor students with little storage space. I didn’t want to buy a tree stand and a tree, so we decided on a $20 fake from Wal-mart.

We’ve been using that tree for the past seven years.

This year, on a whim, I bought us a real tree. I was so anxious I bought it like December 5th or something. It dried up completely two days later, and we had a fire hazard in our house for the next four+ weeks. But there were some definite things I enjoyed about it, as well as the er.. drawbacks.

So for your education, my post Christmas analysis of buying a real tree versus pulling the fake one out of the garage.

Category 1: The deadness factor Perhaps this category should be more appropriately dubbed, the fire hazard factor, as both real and fake trees are in a sense already dead. Real tree scores in this category for fresh smell, but loses points in the fact that it "dies more" over time. Fake tree gets the plus in the unchangedness of it’s lack of living.

Category 2: Maintenance and Convenience

When you put the fake tree up, you pull it out of the garage, decorate it and that is the end until you take it down. Score for the tree in a box. real trees must be shopped for (both a plus and a minus depending on your sense of Christmas adventure).  Real trees need to be watered (until they stop drinking) and they shed much pine needles which need to be vacuumed. I would give this a minus two points except that I actually like vacuuming and the pine needle vacuuming created a fresh smell. Minus 1 point for the watering.

Category 3: Variations

With a real tree, you get something different every year. Plus one. Fake trees are the same year in and year out. Minus one.

Category 4: The Easter Bunny Factor I once heard that in Norway they leave their Christmas tree out until Easter as symbolism of the birth and resurection. Since I have Norwegian ancestry, I have always felt rather justified in leaving my tree out until March or even April. (I kid you not). But since real trees become a fire hazard so quickly, I took ours down just after new years. This can be a plus or a minus depending on how long you like to celebrate Christmas for. I actually think though that the real tree scores in this category.

Category 5: Authenticity I think real trees create more warm and fuzzy feelings of tradition and chestnuts. Fake trees have a metal pole running up the middle– that just doesn’t tug at my heart strings. And since every analysis needs a chart:

 Well the results reveal that the fake tree is better than the real tree by a one point advantage.  These are just the facts folks, I am not biased.  Because honestly, I think I might go real again next year.  Piney smell gets like 10 points in my book.  And the vacuuming….

These things crack me up.  Does anyone reading these weird ads in the coupon section actually order the item advertised?  I have to wonder.

Got your attention, eh?

Seriously, though.  Yesterday was one of those kind of days that made me understand why living in a commune or something would appeal to a person.  With three kids under 6 and too much house to take care of, I get kind of lonely sometimes.  I don’t really want to drag them places because they are so much work when I do, I’d rather just stay home.  

But it get’s lonely.

It would be nice to have a few other ladies around just kind of all the time to chat with, to share household duties with even spar with just to create some drama.  It would be nice to have extra hands around. Imagine this conversation:

Me: Hey wife number two, and three, can you watch the children so I can go get a pedicure?

Wife #2: There’s a lot of children between the three of us.

Me: And there’s two of you, I am sure you can handle it.  Besides, Joan up the street has like 15 kids and her husband only has one wife, so I know between the two of you 12 kids is like nothing.

Wife #3: I get to go tomorrow, right?

Me: (knowing dinner would be ready and the house would be clean when I get back) Sure.  See ya in a few hours! 

Yeah, that’d be nice. 

P.S. No comments about how in real life polygamy stinks and all the alleged abuse and all of that.  I get that.  I am being totally facetious. 

I just have to post some of the wit of Engineer:

He had his first music class on Tuesday and the teacher told me he has a beautiful voice (beam).  As we were getting in the car I told him that I heard he did some wonderful singing.

E: I did NOT sing
Me: Well Miss Singy said you did.
E: (matter of fact) Well, maybe she’s lying. 

              —————–
 

At kindergarten when they don’t finish their snack, the rest of it gets put in their backpack.  Engineer keeps coming home with pretzels in his baggies.  (Yesterday it was even pretzel goldfish.)   

Me: Do you not like pretzels or something?
E: I like pretzels.
Me: Then how come pretzels keep coming home with you in your bag?
E: Because I forgot to throw them away.