Got your attention, eh?

Seriously, though.  Yesterday was one of those kind of days that made me understand why living in a commune or something would appeal to a person.  With three kids under 6 and too much house to take care of, I get kind of lonely sometimes.  I don’t really want to drag them places because they are so much work when I do, I’d rather just stay home.  

But it get’s lonely.

It would be nice to have a few other ladies around just kind of all the time to chat with, to share household duties with even spar with just to create some drama.  It would be nice to have extra hands around. Imagine this conversation:

Me: Hey wife number two, and three, can you watch the children so I can go get a pedicure?

Wife #2: There’s a lot of children between the three of us.

Me: And there’s two of you, I am sure you can handle it.  Besides, Joan up the street has like 15 kids and her husband only has one wife, so I know between the two of you 12 kids is like nothing.

Wife #3: I get to go tomorrow, right?

Me: (knowing dinner would be ready and the house would be clean when I get back) Sure.  See ya in a few hours! 

Yeah, that’d be nice. 

P.S. No comments about how in real life polygamy stinks and all the alleged abuse and all of that.  I get that.  I am being totally facetious. 

I just have to post some of the wit of Engineer:

He had his first music class on Tuesday and the teacher told me he has a beautiful voice (beam).  As we were getting in the car I told him that I heard he did some wonderful singing.

E: I did NOT sing
Me: Well Miss Singy said you did.
E: (matter of fact) Well, maybe she’s lying. 

              —————–
 

At kindergarten when they don’t finish their snack, the rest of it gets put in their backpack.  Engineer keeps coming home with pretzels in his baggies.  (Yesterday it was even pretzel goldfish.)   

Me: Do you not like pretzels or something?
E: I like pretzels.
Me: Then how come pretzels keep coming home with you in your bag?
E: Because I forgot to throw them away. 

I have had nothing but problems with them.

Mostly billing issues.  I thought I had them resolved and then I signed up for auto pay.  And then I got an email saying my payment was denied by my bank. No possible way, right?  So I try to login to my online account.  And then I can’t get in there.  And I am refusing to call them.

I have tried emailing the issue to them, and a long time later I get an email that gives some vague and useless answer.  Clearly they didn’t even look at my account.  I just don’t want to call them.  I hate sitting through the ridiculous automated "pre-screener" questions.  I am so cheesed off by the time I get through to a real person that I have no patience left for the non-english speaking or hates their job individual on the other line.  They are almost ALWAYS less than helpful.

Why can’t they call me if there is an issue with my account? I am on the phone constantly trying to serve my customers and build my business and yada yada and I still have a life.  They have got a whole team of call center people and no one is making any calls (except maybe to try and harass their current customers into more features.)

 I just refuse to call.  They continue to disappoint over and over. 

Okay.  Rant over.  Have a good day all. 

My freshman roommates in played their music loud and late because they didn’t have any classes at 8:00 am.  I neither shared their taste in "music" nor their non-morning class schedule so many a night I would stumble into the kitchen squinty eyed and sour faced and request a volume adjustment.  I met with much resistance and it was later brought to my attention that if I just asked nicer, than they would be more accomadating. 

So the next time it happened, I fluffed my hair, opened my eyes and with a smile on my face said to them, "dear roommates, as much as I enjoy the sounds coming from the kitchen at this late hour, and as much as I desire for you to have as enjoyable a study session as possible, the volume is a bit much for my tender ears.  Do you think it would be possible, do you think you could maybe please turn down the sound so that I may be rested for my early classes tomorrow?  Oh please oh please, it would mean so much to me."

Fine.  Not that exactly, but I did say please.  And I did try to smile. 

And despite my best efforts I was told that I was still not very nice about that way I asked for them to turn their music down.  (I have since concluded that most people just don’t like being told what to do no matter how pleasant you are about it, but that is a topic for another time.)  So I continued to try to improve, and they continued to shut me down.  And I continue to experience this kind of thing in my life, because I am unfortunately cursed with the I-will-offend-you-no-matter-how-hard-I-try-to-say-it-nicer-if-there-is-even-a-remote-chance-that-you-could -be-offended-by-the-content-of-my-comment disease.  Sad but true.

And it is apparently genetic. 

The other day I asked Engineer ever so nicely to please clean up his toys (okay, I TOLD him to with a snotty tone) and he in return told me to ‘GO AWAY’.  I reminded him that he should not speak to me that way and that it made me sad when he talked to me like that.  He paused, put a sweet, if not slightly whiny, tone in his voice and said, "Mommy, will you please leave because we are just so sick of you." 

I laughed.  And then I grounded him for life. 

And then I wished I had not passed him this particular legacy. 

We went to the circus last night and it was loads of fun.  I have pictures, and I will post, but I can’t get over the fact that on our way home from the circus we saw this:

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/22750009.html 

A fatal motorcycle accident.  And the sadness.  And the questions from the children.   And the sadness about how much money was spent on flashing plastic swords, but the gratitude that at least we are still alive to play with them.

I need a magical fairy that can come through my kitchen, see what kind of ingredients I have and tell me what I can make with all of it.  She doesn’t need to cook it for me, as that is a domestic duty I quite enjoy.  But if she has any cleaning fairy friends…. that would rock.

I am so not joking.

Thursday night we went to a local farmer’s market and then to dinner.  On the five minute drive home that night, Sugar fell asleep– not having peed in several hours and with cherry stains on her cream colored dress. I was bummed I wouldn’t be able to use my mad stain removal skills until morning, but glad we had one less child to try and force to sleep that night.

Of course, the combination of Sugar not having peed recently, and an ill placed, holey matress protector assured that she would pee the bed in the night. At 5:45 she woke up from the accident and after following the protocol, I tossed her clothes in the sink, unrinsed and we went back to bed.

At around 9 am I figured it was time to get at the stain removal.

Only there were no more stains.

The pee bleached them away. 

Isn’t that the weirdest thing ever?  And slightly gross?  Anyone ever have a similar experience? 

…Or "garage sale finds cost more than you paid for them."

Here’s the deal– I think freecycle total rocks.  Free stuff is great– most of the time.  If you are getting something for free that you really need/want/are dying to have then whoopee! you have arrived.  But you need to know one thing about free stuff– it is rarely, actually free.

Example 1: I recently acquired a freecycled ceiling fan.  Thinking it would be hot around here sometime (joke’s on me and everyone else in Seattle) I felt it would be good to have one in the house.  After significant driving to pick up the fan, I immediately went out and purchased supplies to repaint the "treasure" that now sits in a box in my garage.  I have also noticed some missing wiring that will need to be replaced if it is even possible to do so.  Cost so far: $10 and counting.

Not free.

Example 2: I bought an Oreck vacuum at a garage sale for $30 and also got a free handvac from someone else.  Vaccuum bags anyone?  That little steal just doubled in price.

Not as cheap as I thought it was.

I keep seeing things on the freecycle that I think would be great for me, and I keep re-evaluating the actual cost.  King sized mattress?  I’ve always wanted one, but I don’t have box springs or King sized bedding or a place to put my perfectly fine queen sized bed.  Gas grill?  Oh, well, I don’t have a propane tank.  Size 2 designer dress? Can’t afford the personal trainer, darnit.  

Seriously.  The free?  Not so much.   

Free is good, my friends, it often is.  However, I would advise that you Freecycle wisely. 

(And have you ever noticed how people want their c-r-a-p picked up immediately?  That always cracks me up.) 

Seattle Mom blogs is doing an awesome vacation giveaway to Seabrook!  Head on over and add your name!

Other than the fact that you get to be an executive chef at a fancy restaurant if you win, I am not really sure why anyone would want to voluntarily be on that show.  Why you want some crazy chef tossing profanities at you and telling you you are worthless, is totally and utterly beyond me.

And yet, most of those people go in there feeling pretty good about themselves.  It’s almost ridiculous how overly confident they are in their talents and abilities.  Then they get in there and they do terribly.

Lesson?

Confidence isn’t necessarily required for success.  I think those that are teachable and coachable are those that will do well.

Thoughts?