I’ve been on bedrest twice with two of my pregnancies.  With Engineer I had pre-eclampsia and was down for three weeks.  With Sugar I had "pre-term labor" (not sure how serious/legit it was since she was born at 40 weeks gestation) and was down for six weeks.  Bedrest is lonely, dull and difficult and I always longed for visitors who didn’t seem to come often enough.

I always try to understand purpose in my trials and what I gleaned from my bedrest experiences (aside from healthy babies) was compassion for others experiencing the same situation.  I vowed to never let anyone else suffer with loneliness and lack during a time of bedrest.

A friend of mine recently was hospitalized for pregnancy issues– she’s been in and out of the hospital on bedrest for a month and a half or two.  I have visited once.  Yes, you heard me once.  Every time I was ready to go for a visit, my kids would get sick or I would get sick.  I’ve been trying to get out to the hospital for three weeks now and we have just been pillaged with the plague. And yesterday she had her baby 13 weeks premature.

And I have learned yet another lesson.

Forgiveness.

Not that I am super quick to forgive myself mind you, because trust me I am kicking myself right now, even though the situation is mostly out of my hands.  But I realize now,or am willing to believe, that all those people who didn’t come and visit me weren’t necessarily avoiding me– they just had life happen to them too.  Life pretty much stops for a person on bedrest, but it continues to go on for everyone else, regardless of how good a friend or how close a relative to you they are.  So with this realization I forgive.  And I continue to be a champion for the bedridden with a new resolve.

Who do you know who could use a visit from you?  (That’s sort of rhetorical, no need to leave it in the comments.)

Sugar always has the best prayers…

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am thankful for this day and for my family.  I love my whole family.  Even the ones that live in different houses- aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas.  I love even the old ones that are about to die.  I love them until they are done.

Lord of Commandments, Love One Another, In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen

I am not sure my children really get the concept of prayer.  I know they know the words to say, the format, and the behavior expected during prayer, but it’s fairly clear that they don’t really understand yet what it’s all about.  Their prayers however continue to amuse me, and they are all over the board:

Engineer (the know it all 6 year old, excuse me 6 and a half year old boy)

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day.  Thank you for our family.  Please bless Sugar to be reverent during prayer.  Please bless that Spider will stop talking right now.  Please bless us to always be right.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Sugar (the unpredictable, airy fairy 4 year old girl,)

"Heavenly Fath-eerr,  I’m thankful for our family.  I’m thankful we had fun.  Please bless us to be safe.  Bless us to have fun and do something tomorrow.  Lord of Commandments.  Love one another.   In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  (she will not finish a prayer without the italicized part)

Spider (2 1/2, blesses the food regardless of type of prayer)

"Heavenly father, thankful for this day.  Bless that daddy can go to work.  Bless safe.  Bless the food.  Thankful for the food. Chryst.  Amen."

 So there you have it.  Hopefully when they begin to have real life issues, they will understand that they can turn to Heavenly Father in prayer to give them strength and lift their burdens.  For now though, they can continue to ask to "always be right" and love one another.

(And may the food be perpetually blessed.)

Yes, that’s right I addressed you by your first name.  Listen, Mister Man, I got something to say to you.

First of all, No I did not vote for you and yes I am conservative.  But, for the record, as long as you don’t muck everything up too much with your liberal agenda, I will continue to support and sustain you, just like I said I would.  I didn’t make too big of a deal when you decided that you could spend my tax dollars on foreign abortions, so you’re welcome, but the conscience clause, really?

That’s taking it a little too far.

(To sum it up, the conscience clause allows medical professionals to abstain from performing procedures that conflict with their consciences/morals and Mr Obama would like to rescind that policy).

I am not an abortion fan, Barack.  I feel that in certain situations it is appropriate and perhaps even necessary.  But as a general rule, I think life is precious and should be supported.  There are many couples who would love to have children who would be happy to love and raise any pregnant woman’s unwanted child.  That said, however, I support the idea that everyone has a right to choose their own path.  People can make their own choices.  That’s the way it should work.

Everyone has a right to choose.

And that is why I support the conscience clause.  

It does nothing to take away abortions.  It only stands to allow doctors and nurses the same "freedom to choose" as you, Barack Obama, think women should have in their reproductive decisions.

For you to rescind the conscience clause is for you to essentially deny a different set of people the right to choose.  And that is hypocritical.

And frightening.

Because if you can take away the choices of medical professionals, who’s next?  Are you going to take away my choices too? Right now, I choose not to work on Sunday.  I choose not to smoke or drink.  Will you make me skip church to work for your government and take a mandatory smoking break?  Will you force me to have pain medication when I don’t want any? Will you make me get an abortion against my moral conscience if my family gets too large?  How far will you go or not go?

You are walking a dangerous line, Barack.  You better back down.  Don’t you dare take away someone’s right to choose in the name of free choice.   Don’t be that kind of man.  Don’t be that kind of President.  Leave it be.  Just leave it be.

*Sign the petition here

Engineer is into his calendars these days.  While looking at April today, he suddenly exclaimed, "Oh NO!  Easter is on a SUNDAY!"

I told him that it always was.

"But I don’t want to go to church on EASTER!  Why can’t it be on…. Wednesday?"

So we had a chat about why we celebrate Easter.  That it was about Jesus.  That we celebrate his resurrection.  Jesus=Church.  Easter Sunday. 

"I don’t want Jesus to die on Easter."

Well….

"Oh I know.  I have an idea."

He became satisfied only when he wrote on the calendar that there would be an Easter egg hunt the Saturday before Easter Sunday.  He asked about Good Friday.  Mormons don’t really celebrate it, so I didn’t know what to tell him.

This kid is so literal that it both irritates me and cracks me up.

First off let, me start this post by giving a shout out to the lady who passed me as I was stuck in the middle of the road and honked at me multiple times: I didn’t do it on purpose to ruin your day, you are mean and you suck.

Secondly a shout out to my minivan with an instrument panel that doesn’t work in spite of all the money we’ve put into getting it fixed: get it together, baby, I need to know when there is no gas.

Okay, good.  

Sunday on the way to church the instrument panel decided to blink on thus alerting us as to our mph, other important panel things and also the fact that we had no gas.  As we were already late, and are committed to not spending money on Sunday, we got two gallons of gas and were on our way.  I planned to get more gas on Monday before I drove 45 minutes into Seattle and back.  On the way home from church, the panel went bye bye once again.

Monday came, I found myself driving into Seattle with little gas, I remembered this only after I was on the freeway, and decided that I could make it there and would need to get gas on the way home.  Reasonable plan.

Here is where the dilemma came in.  We went to the science center (clean bathrooms) and afterwards went to the Center House for ice cream (questionable bathrooms).  I needed to pee, but decided it would be better to not haul my three small children into an unclean bathroom. Nobody else needed to go anyway.

Well, you know how it goes when you have to go, but you still have 45 minutes of driving to do!  I knew I needed to get gas, but I just couldn’t handle the thought of standing in the cold pumping gas with a full bladder.  I wrestled with how I could use the gas station bathroom, but hello, not a clean place for the children.  I could leave them in the car…  but well, not as safe.  As I knew at least one would be asleep anyway…  

I drove home without stopping.  The funny thing is, I didn’t even race into pee.  I dinked around on the computer, putting stuff away until I remembered the little feeling.

Tuesday.  I know I need to get gas before i go out.  Everything is a little frazzled, I make a product delivery, leave town without gas and a third way up the big, windy, twisty hill, the van sputters and stops in front of about five other cars. I turn on my emergency flashers, the other cars figure it out and I pull out my phone to call Charming who turns out to be less than helpful..  I still think I should have called 911 or something, but he advised me not to.

Fortunately, a nice homeless-looking man (whitish beard and stocking cap) with a British accent stopped in front of me and came to see if he could help.  He tried to start the car a couple of times without success, but was then able to put the car in neutral and ease it closer to the side of the road.  Our car was then not completely blocking traffic, but closer to the blind corner where another car (going too fast) could have easily rear ended us.  (Had the honking lady not been speeding, she might have laid off the horn, for example). And then the Microsoft employee man (as it turned out he was on leave from there) left to get us some gas.

After what felt like 45 minutes (maybe more like half an hour) of being a sitting duck and listening to crying, whining children (Spider was happy) the kind man returned with the gas and the County Sheriff’s arrived to direct traffic.  Two gallons was not enough on the steep hill, so the sheriff left to get some more.  The man who helped us went home without me ever giving him proper thanks or any money for the gas, and when the sheriff came back with more gas I was on my way.

I was reminded of a few things yesterday amidst all this mess.  One– there are good people in the world who will help strangers.  Two– most people are not this way, at least 50 cars passed me, and that man was the only one who stopped.  Most people rubbernecked to see inside my vehicle and one woman honked angrily.  Three– God will always watch out for you.  It was a miracle no one hit us while sitting there, and quite a blessing that the man stopped so soon after we got stuck.

And fourthly, and perhaps most importantly, peeing your pants while pumping gas is much more desirable then running out of gas on an uphill, twisty, narrow and relatively busy road.  And yet, riding home in wet pants, just doesn’t seem that great to me, even now…

P.S. To my kind hearted rescuer, thank you.  If you ever read this, please don’t be offended that I called you homeless looking, I was kind of scared when you first approached, but my children and I will forever be indebted to your kindness and willingness to serve people you didn’t know.  Thank you for being a neighbor and good samaritan.

It did.  What can I say, I love great music.  And the Moses story is so incredible.  When that opening song came on and the Hebrew slaves sing, "Elohim, God on high, Can you hear your people cry?" I just started sobbing.  It was so moving.

Of course I really lost it when Jochabed starts singing to Moses.  Can you imagine sending your baby down a river on the chance that he might live?  Seriously.  The faith of that woman.  I can only imagine the angst she must have felt as she sent him down the Nile and I would guess she was just pleading with the Lord to let him live.  I know I would have been begging to see him again.  And I am totally touched by the tender mercies of the Lord toward Moses mother.  She sends him down the river and then the Lord, through Miriam and Pharaoh’s daughter, works it out so that she gets to be her son’s wet nurse. Not only does her baby live but she is blessed to be with him for a few more years.  What love!

Anyway.  I was crying.  I just love that song– Deliver Us.  Totally worth the dollar I spent.  

My sweet little Spider,

In my prayers last night I told Heavenly Father how thankful I am for you.  You are our little act of faith– an unexpected blessing.  You are the child that brings balance to our family.  My little snug a bug and my source of endless smiles and laughter.  You just continue to become more of a delight the older you get, and that makes me glad.

I can’t believe that you are two!  I love watching you grow and hearing you learn to talk. You are so teachable and a quick learner.  Yesterday we got to put all my eyeshadows and cheek colors away and I found joy in hearing you repeat all the color names with me.  How many other people get to hear their two year olds say "sunny spice", "sweet plum", or "ivory 1"?

I love your love of animals both real and inanimate.  If I could give you a real dog, I would, because I know you would be best friends.  As it is, watching you tote around all your pluffies makes me smile.  I love that you need them to sleep.

I love your general cuteness.  You are going to be the end of me!  It is so hard to resist when you pull me hand and say "Come wis ME!" and lead me to the fridge where you tenderly ask for a "pockle" (popsicle.)  It’s so hard to say no to you!  And even when you get mad you are cute. I could just give you kisses all day long.

And I love that on your birthday, you and me had some special time.  You sat and played with me and my sunglasses (and my earrings and necklace…) and we got to take crazy pictures together.  I love you, Spider.  I am so glad Heavenly Father gave me you and that I get to be your mommy.

Happy Birthday baby! 

Last time I checked, the way to get a law changed or have your voice heard in this country, you needed to have a lot of people agree with you.  Like, you need a lot of signatures on a petition or everyone you know should send a letter…

So why is this guy getting any air time?  Why is he getting ANY say? Because he’s a lawyer?

Forgive me if I offend any atheists with this post.

But seriously, how many millions of people are there in this country, and one man throws a tizzy fit because he doesn’t like seeing the words in "God we Trust" on our currency and could potentially get those words removed costing this country how many dollars to redo all of our currency?  How many more people with actual beliefs that like seeing those words on our currency and feel that they are part of what this country was founded on are going to be offended and file another lawsuit to get them back on there?  Sheesh.

This guy needs to stop getting so much press.

I just don’t get why as an atheist he thinks he should get any say.  Atheism is not a set of convictions or a set of beliefs.  It is a lack of them.  So why should he, with his lack of beliefs, get to say he’s offended.  He doesn’t believe anything!  And don’t give me that baloney about how it makes not a separation of church and state. Malarkey. I have never had anyone tell me how I am supposed to believe or where I needed to go to church, so I am doing just fine. 

I can kind of understand the whole pledge of allegiance thing, he filed suit against, because yes, by having everyone stand up and say it, it is sort of teaching a certain set of beliefs, but this is ridiculous.  Who even looks at their money before they spend it anyway?

It just really scares me that one man has the potential for this kind of power.  If he wins this (I hope he doesn’t even from an economic standpoint) what’s next?  "Umm, I am sort of offended by this law here that says I can’t speed.  I sort of like speeding and it offends me that you don’t so down with speed limits!"  I know that’s kind of extreme, but…

I just think this guy needs to be treated like a kid having a tantrum.  Put him in his room until he can cool off and play by the rules.  The world doesn’t revolve around you, little one.  And in this house we have the words "in God we trust" and most everybody else likes it that way.

I’m secretly hoping that God strikes him down. 

I spent most of yesterday out running errands.  Feeling green, I bought some organic tampons and chlorine-free bleach (among other things).  Since I didn’t need to use the tampons when I got home, I decided to try a wash with the bleach.  I was unconvinced that the tree-hugger bleach was capable of my toxic bleach’s germ killing power so I decided that a hot water wash would cover all my bases.  And it did indeed cover more than that.

It covered my garage floor.

I imagine in Heaven (or where ever it is that He lives) that God said to himself, "I think Stephanie needs to clean out her garage.  I  know she will never just do it on her own, so I am going to give her an excuse."

How helpful.

I walked in the garage, for reasons still unknown to me, to see water spurting from my hot water heater and flowing down my garage floor.  I called Charming immediately who told me to turn off the water supply, which I somehow managed to figure out.  I then sent out two emails for help and started to panic.  Charming had asked me if I could handle it, and I said I could, but I quickly im’d him saying I could NOT DEAL WITH THIS.

A mild anxiety attack started to set in.  I was shaking and my heart was pounding.  I just had no idea what to do.  Charming asked me to call people, but I couldn’t.  It’s hard to understand this if you’ve never suffered from a mood disorder, but I could not pick up the phone.

And then the phone rang.

"Hi, this is (gal from church that I don’t know very well) and I still have that brand new water heater in my garage that I can give you for cheap, and you ought to call so and so and let me call some other people to see what we can do."

Nice. 

An hour later I tried calling a few plumbers and had no luck. (One number I called was actually a private residence– a story for another time). And then the phone rang again.

"Hi this is (son of someone at church) I am a general contractor, let me come look at that water heater tonight so we can figure out a way to get you some hot water."

Wow.

As for the rest of the day, I had one friend come over and buy some product and offer up her shower, another came by and took a load of laundry and another friend volunteered to come over and help with the cleanup and she took a load of laundry home too as well as opening her home for showers.

Think I’m being watched out for? 

I don’t really believe in coincidences.  That water heater sat in that woman’s garage for three years before she sent out an email saying she needed to get rid of it.  I think it no coincidence that she still had it a few weeks later.  That water heater was meant for me in this moment, I am pretty sure.  Because God knows I don’t have any more cash for these kinds of things, and that I am working on getting our financial house in order while still paying our tithing on a regular basis.  And God knows that sometimes I feel like no one at church likes me and he sent those ladies to serve me so I could remember to stop eating worms.

At first I was mad about the water heater breaking, but now I know, God just wanted to show me a little love.  And I hope that when your water heater breaks, you have a community like the one I have.  I am so grateful that I have it.